Task 2. Transport topic. Please evaluate

[HelenSun]

Your valueable feedback is needed regarding vocabulary range, grammar, response understanding and etc. I would highly appreciate it. If it is possible please approximately estimate what IELTS score it is.

Question:
Some people claim that the metro is the most convenient transport. To what extent do you agree?

Response:

In today's modern world, owing to development of public transport, it is possible to travel far from home in a short amount of time. Many dwellers of major cities prefer using the Underground, which is agreed as the most convenient means of transportation. It will be shown by looking at avoiding traffic congestion as well as time spent on a trip around a city.

Firstly, the subway allows urban people to elude such an annoying issue as traffic jam. For instance, one colleague of mine, who rode by bus, got in stuck several times and for this reason was late for work. However, due to an isolation from another transport, passengers of the metro are avoided from this problem and can be delivered to their destination in proper time. Hence, it can be concluded that the metro is the most convenient and preferable transport to use.

Another point to consider is that the same destination can be reached more rapidly by using the subway. In Ukraine, for example, a taxi delivered me to a hospital in 1 hour while it took 40 minutes by the metro. As this example shows, less time was spent on a trip in the Undeground. Following this, it can be proved that the metro is the most convenient way to travel within a city.

In conclusion, taking into account such benefits as avoiding traffic congestion and time spent on a trip, the idea that the metro is the most convenient way to travel has supported. It is predicted that more and more Underground stations will be built in metropolises in foreseeable future.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Introduction - Is the subway 'agreed' as the most convenient form of transport? Why isn't is already more widely used? Why don't more people in cities with subways use them?

The two main paragraphs basically raise the same point.

I went to work using the subway in Beijing. I had to walk 30 minutes to the subway, then was on the subway for 20 minutes, plus 5 minutes waiting time and 5 minutes getting in and out of the stations, then had to walk for 40 minutes to the school. A taxi home took 30 minutes. This proves taxis are better than subways.

In others words, conclusion not proven at all.

The range of grammar and vocabulary is also limited, but not bad and can be understood easily.

All the best,
David

[HelenSun]

Hello David,

Thank you very much for your feedback.

[HelenSun]

thanks