Could you please evaluate my task 2 writing?

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
Hazem123
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2017 3:06 pm

Could you please evaluate my task 2 writing?

Post by Hazem123 »

Question
Shopping is dangerous because it makes people selfish, and careless with money.
Do you agree or disagree?

Answer

Today, shopping has become increasingly popular among people. Some people believe that this is advantageous and adds to the people’s welfare. However, it is argued that this may bring about unfavorable ramifications. This will be proven by looking at how excessive shopping encourages extravagance and neglecting the poor.

Firstly, shopping addiction pushes people to spend their money on items they don’t really need. A perfect illustration to this is hypermarkets where advertising strategies are followed to attract new customers to purchase products that are not essential to them just because they like the way they are displayed. It is worth mentioning that this applies to e-commerce as well. As a result, these shoppers fall victims to advertising campaigns that primarily focus on how to take much money from consumers. Thus, the link between extravagance and shopping addiction can be clearly seen.

Secondly, this kind of practice is indirectly reflected upon the socioeconomic status of low-paid workers and people who are in dire need of donations. For instance, in developing countries, a considerable amount of money is squandered on trivial things leaving charitable organizations to receive lower share of people’s disposable incomes. This, consequently, leads to social injustice and envy among people. This makes it clear that poverty is somehow related to the odd shopping habits of some individuals.

In conclusion, after analyzing the drawbacks of inadvertent shopping, it is obvious that shopping can produce adverse consequences as it is considered a double-edged weapon. It is expected that this we will not witness major improvements in the foreseeable future regarding that aspect.
Post Reply