Task 2 importance of music and traditional music or international?

[adamrahimov]

There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Nowadays, people have a variety of different musical styles to listen. Listening music have turned into indispensable part of a life for a wide range of reasons, and I would argue that traditional music outweighs the international music.
The reasons why this activity have become the necessity comes from our childhood, as most kids enjoy listening music. As a result, in their later life, they have tendency to consider the music as an essential tool which cheers them up. Apart from type of entertainment, in most countries, listening music is regarded as an effective method to contribute learning process ranging from different languages to basic skills. Music is also an integral part of typical adult’s life. Due to the fact that music can express and arouse our feelings which we cannot explain with words, most people see it as a need of the soul.
In the light of increasing presence of the international music, some people think the traditional music used up its time. I completely disagree with this idea, as the traditional music carry more meanings than the international music such as the culture or history of the country. It can easily be understood the traditions or lifestyles of the people in early days just by listening such kinds of music. On the other hands, the international music is a commercial product, so put more emphasis on catchy notes rather than meaningful words. It will be so disappointing if one day the traditional music disappears from the music lists because of growing popularity of the pop music.
In conclusion, music cannot be substitute by any other activity for aforementioned reasons, I restate that traditional music is more valuable than new types of international music because of the hidden meanings behind it.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a standard answer to this question. Like other candidates, you have failed to provide any examples to support your opinion, thus making your essay a list of assertions that may or may not be true.

Which basic skills? Which feelings? What culture? What traditions?

Vocabulary is good enough for a general answer, but the range of grammar is limited.

All the best,
David

[adamrahimov]

Thanks for the feedback. I will take into account in my next essay