examine my essay

[akeanil]

Nowadays, in many parts of the world people are concerned about excessive cost of education. However the question is, Does making education free for all regardless of their background would be a good idea. I agree partially with this statement as making free will lead to some economic problems too. This essay will provide evidence in support of above point
One the first hand, it must be recognized that by providing education at no fees more number of people can be educated. For instance, many surveys conducted by universities pointed that almost one third of the students drop out of college due to exorbitant fees charged .This is because many students belong to economically backward families who can’t afford to educate their children, and this scenario is even worse in developing countries. Thus by educating people at no charge would result into more number of people being educated. Furthermore having more educated people will improve the overall standard of living as people will get better employment opportunities.
On the other hand, making studies free is not an economically sound solution. Take university education for example, a tremendous amount of financial resources are required to facilitate education such as in infrastructure and faculty. So providing education for free will put a huge amount of strain on government expenditure, which would in turn result into higher taxes on citizens to compensate the burden. Hence charging nominal fees for courses would be more convenient remedy to this problem.
In conclusion, despite making studies free for all can lead to several critical economic issues, it would also benefit a large number of needy people too. I believe that getting education is everyone’s right therefore it must fulfilled.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Basically, not bad, but you haven't really developed the ideas well or clearly. In particular it's not clear how you come to the conclusion that the benefits outweigh the costs.

Vocabulary and grammar are reasonably good, but you haven't used them to create a good argument.

All the best,
David