It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Many people argue that the rapid development of technology is leading to the loss of traditional culture, while the others believe that new inventions and traditional culture are cannot be existed and merged together. I partly agree with this point of view.
Following the technological development, which has rapidly eroded traditional culture of our ancestors. Traditional games, music instruments are less and less attractive people’s attention. For example, traditional games such as kites and tops been replaced by the new, modern and sophisticated video games. Children nowadays are more interested in playing video games rather than traditional games. Apart from this, traditional musical instruments such as reed pipes are being replaced by new innovations such as electric guitars and violins. These days, due to the non-stop of development technology, more and more tradition cultures will be vanished totally in the near future.
Traditional culture is slowly being wiped out by the strong current of technology. However, both of them can exist together. For instance, traditional games can be introduced as a kind of sport in schools, encourage children to take part in the traditional festival which helps them to elicit traditional cultures. Besides, traditional performances and traditional musical instruments can be revived through the promotion by the media. Thanks to the increase of technology, traditional cultures were introduced not only in native country but also in over the world that contributes to maintain precious traditional cultures.
In conclusion, the strong current technological advancement has indeed washed out some our traditional values; nevertheless, both of them are not mutually incompatible, the technology power could protect traditional culture.
i hope that you can you give me some advises about my essay. Many thanks for your pay attention
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: i hope that you can you give me some advises about my essay. Many thanks for your pay attention
Hello!
This is one of my favourite questions - mainly because candidates miss some good, simple points that can be made!
Nice introduction!
You seem to over-generalise in the first main paragraph. Violins are not exactly modern, but, sure, they are not traditional instruments in most of the world. Vanished? Kites most certainly have not vanished! As I said, 'over-generalisation' - this time to the point of falsehood!
The second main paragraph makes good points, but it is a bit boring with 'can be'!
Conclusion - Oh, dear! You suddenly switch to 'traditional values'. What are you talking about?
Overall, some good grammar and vocabulary, but arguments are limited and the conclusion actually doesn't answer the question!
All the best,
David
PS There are apps for playing chess and Chinese chess on Smartphones ... (Just a hint of the points that could be included in an essay on this topic!)
This is one of my favourite questions - mainly because candidates miss some good, simple points that can be made!
Nice introduction!
You seem to over-generalise in the first main paragraph. Violins are not exactly modern, but, sure, they are not traditional instruments in most of the world. Vanished? Kites most certainly have not vanished! As I said, 'over-generalisation' - this time to the point of falsehood!
The second main paragraph makes good points, but it is a bit boring with 'can be'!
Conclusion - Oh, dear! You suddenly switch to 'traditional values'. What are you talking about?
Overall, some good grammar and vocabulary, but arguments are limited and the conclusion actually doesn't answer the question!
All the best,
David
PS There are apps for playing chess and Chinese chess on Smartphones ... (Just a hint of the points that could be included in an essay on this topic!)