Another t1 sample

[Shokir]

Given are figures revealing data on global water use by 3 major sectors and consumption of water in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo in 2000.
Overall, what stands out from the line graph and table is that the sector of agriculture dominated over the period and water consumption of Brazil was its staggering volume.
Industrial and domestic use of water in the first half of the century in question was almost the same, just over 0km3. However, the year of 1950 served as a milestone for industrial use of water and it saw a steady increase over the rest part of the period, peaking at about 1000km3 in 2000. Although domestic use of water did not change as high as industrial use, this sector’s share accounted for a negligible volume at the end. A prevailed sector was agriculture whose trend saw an exponential growth over the period. Its rate ascended from mere number of 500 km3 in 1900 to approximate volume of 3000 km3 in 2000.
Water consumption for per person in Brazil was 359 m3 with its irrigated land of 26500 km2 and 176 million people in 2000. Nonetheless, these numbers for Democratic Republic of Congo were 8 m3, 100 km2 and 5.2 million people respectively.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

You have got the main points and included relevant data, but the vocabulary and grammar are not particularly good.

'Given are figures ...' - Yuk!

'The sector of agriculture dominated ...' - You mean that the agricultural sector used the most water

I'm not sure that domestic water use was 'negligible'.

mere number?

prevailed sector?

With the table, you have basically just listed the data. No comparisons?

Regarding vocabulary, I get the impression that you have just thrown in some higher level words without really knowing how to use them. This is not a good strategy for getting a good score.

There are lots of grammatical errors, but they are mainly minor and do not interfere with comprehension.

Overall, reasonable, but could easily be improved.

All the best,
David