Please assess my writing task 1 and give some feedback. I will be profoundly grateful for you support.

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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altinbek11
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2017 5:32 am

Please assess my writing task 1 and give some feedback. I will be profoundly grateful for you support.

Post by altinbek11 »

The glance at the graph given illustrates a number of parcels distributed by Federal Express and TNT Mail Service companies over the 80 years from 1920 to 2000.
Overall, distribution of parcels by Federal Express wildly fluctuated over the period given whereas TNT Mail Service shows an upward trend throughout the period.
In terms of Federal Express, delivered 15000 parcels in 1920 then which dramatically increased and reach a peak of fewer than 25000 parcels in 1940 before a considerable fall of 13000 parcels approximately (1950). In the next decade, Federal Express saw a slight drop after which experienced a gradual growth and reach about 18000 parcels in 1980. In the following decades, Federal Express almost maintains the same level of the prior decade.
In stark contrast, however, TNT Mail Service increased its parcel distribution gradually until 1980, which almost doubled the initial parcel distribution rate (5000 parcels). The most significant growth took place between 1980 and 2000, which took over the Federal Express and rocket to about 25000 parcels in the final year.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please assess my writing task 1 and give some feedback. I will be profoundly grateful for you support.

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

I think that you could have mentioned the dip in TNT deliveries (1960 to 1980), but apart from that you have covered the data well. The overview is sufficient and the report is clearly laid out. Vocabulary is good. Grammatical range is also good, but be careful with accuracy - quite a lot of basic errors, e.g. rocket(ed).

I think that you can be satisfied with this, aside from grammatical accuracy.

All the best,
David
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