Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs.What problems does this cause?solution

[kongu.suresh]

Many argue that sporting events are important for reducing international tensions, and it helps the people to coalesce. Whereas, others argue that competition between two nation's exacerbate rivalry. This essay agrees that sports indeed improves the tension between countries first the essay outline the problems and then who sports assist diverse people together.

The world most famous sports is football which is followed by millions of fans. The football fans are often described as most violent followers because they very much want their team to win every match their team plays. When the team falls short of their expectation or any wrong decision from the referee the supporters may not be able to tolerate it due to the patriotism and "nation first attitude". This intolerance often lead them to violent behaviour.
For instance, In recently concluded Euro cap supporters of England and Russian fought furiously in France before the start of the tie, which does not do any good for the public relationship.

On the other hand, Sporting events assist the people of a different country to come together and help to improve the relationship. When people travel to other national for the event, the enable them to learn and understand the local customs. Additionally, amity between people increases in a tandem relationship between the country improves. For example, although the hostility between France and England are welcome from World War era. Sporting events significantly helped to reduce the hostile between national.

In conclusion, despite the unexpected problems the sporting events may cause on the relation of nations due to supporter violence. It could ameliorate once the fans know each other better. Therefore, I strongly support that sports help to improve the relationships between countries.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Wrong question!

I'm not sure how much I want to 'coalesce' ...

Improves the tension?!

You say that supporters are violent as a result of what happens during matches, but your example is 'before the start of the tie' ...

Learn the local customs? To what extent does that actually happen?

France and England during the World War? We were on the same side in both I and II ...

Fans know each other better? So, they are fighting, then suddenly ... everything is ok?

Overall, I think that there are some reasonable points in this essay ... somewhere ... but the way you have expressed them is ... well, some combination of unclear/strange/incorrect.

The range of grammar is limited, likely contributing the problem just mentioned above. There are numerous grammatical errors and vocabulary is sometimes unclear/strange/incorrect.

This essay needs to be rewritten, largely, if not completely.

All the best,
David