Task 2 From Uzbekistan

[Aky]

Task 2 (academic module)
Question :
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types o f progress are equally important for a country.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My response:

There are widely differing views on the issue of whether economic progress or other type of progress should be the most essential goal for a country. The topic of it has become a contentious one and there are valid arguments on both sides. In the following essay, I intend to discuss them before drawing conclusion.

On the one hand, it might be said that economic development always plays a pivotal role in people’s lives. One particularly example of this are poor and well-to-do countries in current world. While economical rich countries can afford plenty of modern technologies for their daily life, poor nations have been painfully struggling from areas such as starvation or terrorism scandals. Furthermore, it is often said that weak economic condition can lead to educational progress to collapse. For example, a country needs enough money in order to educate people in schools or universities. Yet, if a country cannot help to people in areas such as education and better living conditions, economy is something that can be the most important thing in this case.

On the other hand, people who are in favor of other type of progress point out that a country needs to have a powerful army or troop in its geographical area and this allows people to live tranquilly in their own place. One salient example is Syria at the moment, this country has been the worst place to reside because of terrorism, meaning that Syria needs to have a strong troop to protect itself. Moreover, it might be also said that a nation or country should establish a good relationship between itself and other neighboring countries because this leads to changes and developments in communication and trading with each others. For instance, a country has to export their goods to other countries in order to make more profit. Admittedly, by establishing a long-term correlation, the country is able to develop its infrastructure soon. However, in terms of today’s issues ranging from incidence of terrorism to trading problems, the country should focus on its power of army and establishment of relationship.

To sum up, although economic growth is vitally important in education and people’s life, the country has to build a strong army and develop communication. In contrast, it is my personal conviction that the benefits of boosting economy in first place far outweigh its opposite.

(298words)

What can you recommend something to improve essay than previous one !!!!
-- I really appreciate your comment and feedback. Thanks a million in advance 

[saqibali]

Most parts of the essay are out of topic.

Please read the topic many times, write down allowed areas of discussion and then again write the first paragraph.

Although the sentences need to be logically connected.

[saqibali]

I am expecting a tremendous improvement if you rewrite this essay again in the same thread. If I write this essay again, it will not give you opportunity to practice your lack areas.

If you write the same essay again and again and I keep pointing your weaknesses, you would practice much better.

[Aky]

how this can be out of topic ???? Can you explain this ?????????

[Aky]

I am expecting a tremendous improvement if you rewrite this essay again in the same thread. If I write this essay again, it will not give you opportunity to practice your lack areas.

If you write the same essay again and again and I keep pointing your weaknesses, you would practice much better.

how this can be out of topic ???? Can you explain this ?????????