Some people think government should take measures regarding the healthy lifestyle of individuals. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Health is a major issue of the current time. Often we here people suffering from various health issues due to poor health. In the same context, many believe that the government ought to take steps to deal with the health of the nation but this essay argues that one's health is one's own responsibility, one that government cannot take over.
It is clear that taking care of one's health is an individual's choice; it cannot be forced upon by anyone. One needs to be conscious enough to manage time towards maintaining one's health in the stressful and fast-paced life. It is, therefore, agreed that one should considered health as a priority regardless of social and economic boundaries. For example, a man with lot of money can live a unhealthy lifestyle where as a man with little resources could follow a healthy lifestyle.
On the other hand, government cannot force healthy lifestyle on its people as they cannot take everything in their control. The choice of living a healthy lifestyle remains with the individual. Nevertheless, it is also essential that the government puts forth agendas or schemes that drive the nation's health. Providing good and free exercising facilities, refreshing gardens, leisure and rehabilitation centres, gyms can be under government control.
To conclude, it cannot be argued that healthy lifestyle needs to be in the hands of the government as it is an individual's preference. However, it is utmost necessary for the government to take up required actions for its promotion.
please assess my writing task 2 regarding healthy lifestyles
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: please assess my writing task 2 regarding healthy lifestyles
Hello!
Not a bad essay, but not really that good either. Your points are good, but not well-developed. For instance, you say that people should put health first, but most people do not. You could also explain what you mean in the last sentence of the first main paragraph. Why should leisure facilities be under government control, not private ownership?
The range of grammatical structures is limited, but you do create some complex structures. There are lot of mistakes, so make grammar a priority! Vocabulary is quite good - nice range and accuracy - but try to add more detail.
All the best,
David
Not a bad essay, but not really that good either. Your points are good, but not well-developed. For instance, you say that people should put health first, but most people do not. You could also explain what you mean in the last sentence of the first main paragraph. Why should leisure facilities be under government control, not private ownership?
The range of grammatical structures is limited, but you do create some complex structures. There are lot of mistakes, so make grammar a priority! Vocabulary is quite good - nice range and accuracy - but try to add more detail.
All the best,
David
Re: please assess my writing task 2 regarding healthy lifestyles
Thank you so much for the quick reply. I am really grateful but would also like to understand as in how to develop because I have been trying do that constantly. However, I guess i have still not understood how to go about it, say for example,
as you said i should have extended this point : 'you say that people should put health first, but most people do not'
but how can i do that if you can please explain the same, it will be really helpful.
and also I re-read the essay after the comments but I am not really able to get the many grammar mistakes that you mentioned about if can also, please, expand on that.
as you said i should have extended this point : 'you say that people should put health first, but most people do not'
but how can i do that if you can please explain the same, it will be really helpful.
and also I re-read the essay after the comments but I am not really able to get the many grammar mistakes that you mentioned about if can also, please, expand on that.