In need of your review for Task 2 essay.

[Xbb]

Dear mates,

I hope you are doing well. Please help review my following essay and give me your harsh feedback which I believe to be extremely useful for my next week exam. Great thanks!!!

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays.
Does this development have more advantages than the disadvantages?
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In today’s fast pace of life, it has become increasingly popular to witness many employees being enforced to receive constant contact from their office day and night. While this trend brings some merits in certain situations, I believe it has far more drawbacks and will share examples to prove this.

On the one hand, some certain advantages of constant contact are undeniable. For one, uninterrupted communication helps ensure the collaboration on progressing work. Especially for projects with critically close deadlines, the absence of any team member could undermine its momentum and team morale. For instance, one of my company key projects was stagnant and delayed for more than one month due to the fact that the main designer was suddenly unreachable for a whole week which then caused severe lack of information for team’s collaboration and instigated the anger and complacency among other peers. In addition, keeping constant contact could improve customer service’s quality. Clearly that when a service agent or sales representative is unable to be contacted for customers’ inquiries, it is likely that customers will become unsatisfied and subsequently discouraged from future engagement.

On the other hand, I would argue that the trend of constant calls and messages from work presents more disadvantages. Firstly, contacting staff after office hours can bring certain detrimental effects of privacy intrusion to their personal life. Considering the arising movements to support work and life balance for workers in developed countries, requesting them to work or standby at weekends or in the evenings could be considered as invading their personal life and family responsibilities. Moreover, if constant calls from employers became widely accepted, the labor rules of working time in many areas of the world would become invalidated and employees might become severely vulnerable due to insufficient protections from authorities. In addition, despite some staff’s acceptance to response to company’s request, it could be seen that their work tends to be more error-prone than the normal results during office hours, probably due to less motivation and increased distractions from family. It is thus clear that constant contact bring numerous adverse effects to employees’ life and the quality of remote work.

In conclusion, although certain advantages of constant contact from employers to their staff could be seen, I personally believe that the disadvantages of this trend are more outstripping. I hope that employers should refrain from this tendency for the sake of their employees’ privacy and quality of remote work.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

The project gets delayed foo over a month because someone was away for a week?

The argument about service is invalid as the vast majority of customers will pass the job on to another person without problems.

The second main paragraph is good.

Overall, a mixed essay. The first half is weak but the second is good. Overall, vocabulary and grammar are good, both in terms of range and accuracy.

All the best,
David

[Xbb]

Many thanks David !!!