Q - Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A- The onus of leading a salubrious life is thought by some to be on humans themselves, while for others government’s role is significant too. In my opinion, as the kind of food being consumed is one’s personal choice, it therefore becomes an individual’s own liability to have a healthful living.
According to one line of thought, for ameliorating the health of people, imposition of higher taxes on fast food items can be implied by the government, which will contribute in letting people to choose alternative eatables. Apart from this, another initiative would be imparting knowledge about the benefits of various fruits, vegetables, beans and other such nutritious products by teachers to the pupils in order to allow them in developing their interest for choosing these items as a daily intake of food.
Although, the above mentioned measures might be conducive in the overall improvement of health for the society, a major part of the responsibility is still on the humans. Firstly, people are wise enough to judge the right from wrong and their understanding is enough to choose a balanced diet as a part of their regime. Secondly, parents are the ones who provide their children with food, and they are needed to guide them appropriately in order to avoid the consumption of convenience food and the one which deteriorates their health.
To conclude, even though both the government and people’s participation are required in changing the eating habits of the society, it still seems logical to accept that it is the humans who predominantly decide what to eat and what not, and therefore they can be held more liable in maintaining a balanced and nourished life.
Kindly check my Writing Task 2 - Thanks
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: Kindly check my Writing Task 2 - Thanks
Hello!
Overall, not a bad essay, but there are some things that would make it better.
1. Be careful with vocabulary - e.g. implied (applied?)
2. In most countries people are already taught about nutrition. If this is not true in your country, you should make this clear.
3. People are often not wise enough to choose a good diet (possibly myself included!)
4. Parents are not the ones who provide children with food. Many children eat outside the family home. (Again, if this is not true in your country, you need to be specific.)
5. In the conclusion, when you say 'the humans' remember that governments are made up of people too, so this statement is not totally clear.
Grammar is generally good in terms of accuracy, though the range could be wider.
All the best,
David
Overall, not a bad essay, but there are some things that would make it better.
1. Be careful with vocabulary - e.g. implied (applied?)
2. In most countries people are already taught about nutrition. If this is not true in your country, you should make this clear.
3. People are often not wise enough to choose a good diet (possibly myself included!)
4. Parents are not the ones who provide children with food. Many children eat outside the family home. (Again, if this is not true in your country, you need to be specific.)
5. In the conclusion, when you say 'the humans' remember that governments are made up of people too, so this statement is not totally clear.
Grammar is generally good in terms of accuracy, though the range could be wider.
All the best,
David
Re: Kindly check my Writing Task 2 - Thanks
Thanks for this valuable feedback sir!
Re: Kindly check my Writing Task 2 - Thanks
Katy Semm wrote: ↑Sun Apr 02, 2017 11:50 am Q - Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A- The onus of leading a salubrious life is thought by some to be on humans themselves, while others believe the government’s role is significant too. In my opinion, as the kind of food being consumed is one’s personal choice, it therefore becomes an individual’s own responsibility to eat a healthy diet.
According to one line of thought, in order to improve the health of people, imposition of higher taxes on fast food items should be imposed by the government, which will encourage people to choose alternative foods. Apart from this, another initiative would be imparting knowledge about the benefits of various fruits, vegetables, beans and other such nutritious products by teachers to their pupils in order to allow them to develop their interest in these items as a staple meal choice.
Although the above-mentioned measures might be conducive to the overall improvement of health for the society, a major part of the responsibility is still on the individual. Firstly, people are wise enough to judge right from wrong, and their understanding is enough to choose a balanced diet as a part of their regime. Secondly, parents are the ones who provide their children with food, and they should guide them appropriately in order to avoid the consumption of convenience food and unhealthy food.
To conclude, even though both the government and people’s participation are required in changing the eating habits of the society, it still seems logical to accept that it is the individual who predominantly decides what to eat and what to avoid, and therefore they can be held more liable in maintaining a balanced and nourished life.