Task 2 (Driving)

[Aky]

Task 2:
Most countries allow 18 year olds to start driving a car. Some say that it is good to allow it at this age, while others think that the age to start to driving should be at least 25. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
My answer:
The last fifty years have seen a dramatic increase in the driving a car in many countries. However, there are widely differing points on the issue of whether people should start driving a car at 18 or at least 25. There are valid arguments and examples to back up. This essay will discuss both sides of issue, before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.
On the one hand, supporters who are in favor of permitting people from the age of 18 point out that if they are taught in driving courses and they can pass from the final exams which are compulsory while taking a driving license. Furthermore, it might be said that every person who is aged 18 years old, is just as careful as elder drivers. For example, in many countries, in order to drive a car the government requires a driving license, from an individual person, and he or she takes a part in driving courses for a while. If they prove their ability and skill in the exams, they will be given a driving license. Thus, this makes it clear that no need to drive a car when a person turns to 25.
Conversely, it is also said that it is too early to start driving a car in terms of high level of skills which are needed while driving a car itself. Furthermore, others say that in today’s sophisticated world, driving a car is not something adults are able to do because there are too many cars on the roads and this then makes it complex to drive. In modern and developed cities, for example, even elderly people find it very difficult to manage. For instance, a watchful eye and concentration are required at the same time which are commonly known as multi-tasking. Therefore, it is clear that driving a car is very complex and people must be at least 25.
To conclude, it appears to me that the stronger argument is in favor of driving a car that simultaneous actions are needed. This is provided that any possible accidents will be avoided.
(342 words) 07.04.2017
I knew that the words should be between 250 and 300 but I was so interested in this topic and this leaded me to write more. Anyway Thank you very much For your feedback !!!
I really appreciate your help
Thanks a million

[saqibali]

Please check my comments which I written at this post. Same apply here

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=12351

[Aky]

Actually, no need to suggest Ryan's books in fact I have read them many times. The main thing is that you must consider firstly your experience of commenting in someone's essay. The way you have left a comment here seems not enough. Like you said "Grammar is quite good and stay on topic " is not enough. What about TA and Vocab and so on.
By next time make sure that comment should be in detail!!!!

[Flick]

Task 2:
Most countries allow 18 year olds to start driving a car. Some say that it is good to allow it at this age, while others think that the age to start to driving should be at least 25. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

My answer:
The last fifty years have seen a dramatic increase in the number of cars in many countries. However, there are widely differing viewpoints on the issue of whether people should start driving a car at 18 or at least 25. There are valid arguments and examples to back up both opinions. This essay will discuss both sides of the issue before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

On the one hand, supporters who are in favor of permitting people from the age of 18 if they are taught in driving courses and they can pass the final exams, which are compulsory while taking a driving license. Furthermore, it might be said that every person who is aged 18 years old is just as careful as older drivers. For example, in many countries, in order to drive a car the government requires a driving license from an individual person, and he or she must take part in driving courses for a while. If they prove their ability and skill in the exams, they will be given a driving license. Thus, this makes it clear that there is no need to wait until one is 25 before they can drive a car.

Conversely, it is also said that it is too early to start driving a car in terms of the high level of skills which are needed while driving a car. Furthermore, others say that in today’s sophisticated world, driving a car is not something adults are able to do because there are too many cars on the roads which makes it complex to drive. In modern and developed cities, for example, even elderly people find it very difficult to manage. For instance, a watchful eye and concentration are required at the same time, which is commonly known as multi-tasking. Therefore, it is clear that driving a car is very complex and drivers must be at least 25.

To conclude, it appears to me that the stronger argument is in favor of driving a car that simultaneous actions are needed.(<--I don't understand this sentence. Do you support 18 year old drivers or 25 year old drivers?) This is provided that any possible accidents will be avoided.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)
(342 words)