Children health is bad compared to the past what is the cause and how we can address the problem IELTS

[kongu.suresh]

It is argued that nowadays health of the children is bad compared to the kids in the past. The main reason for this issue is consuming junk foods and food that have high sugar content, and most viable solution is to educate the people of the danger of consuming the fatty foods and aerated drinks.

The primary reason for unhealthiness in kids is that eating too much of junk foods. These foods contain various hazardous materials that are causing various health risks such as diabetes and obesity. Additionally, people are drinking too much soft beverages, which contain massive of amount of sugar. For example, as per a recent survey by World Health organisation, 40 % of the kids are overweighted due to the eating of junk foods.

A long-term solution to the problem is to educate children about the danger of junk food consuming. Children in the school should be taught about the impact of the food which contains high salt and sugar and how can avoid them. If kids were aware of the consequences of junk foods, they would probably try to avoid it. For example, The United States of America has introduced a curriculum in primary school to teach about the ramification of the processed food, which saw a decline of 55% in processed food consumption.

To conclude, the reason for the health problem in today's kids is that there are eating too much of fatty foods, and educating about the repercussion on their health could help to address this issue.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Hazardous materials?

The solution - Well, for IELTS T2 this is an acceptable solution, but it's not that good. I teach a lot of teenagers and they all - 100% - know that fast food is unhealthy. So, is more education the answer?

(By the way, I couldn't find your 'statistics' online and I suspect they are fake.)

Anyway, vocabulary is good and so is grammar - both in terms of range and accuracy. Organisation is clear with some good connectives.

Overall, the English is good enough but the ideas and support require more work.

All the best,
David

[kongu.suresh]

Thanks David for your valuable feedback, Will try to work on the point you have mentioned.