GT letter, please assess my writing

[dinosaur2007]

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. Write to your friend
• Explaining what you would like to do.
• Tell him/her what type of work or studies you have been doing for the past few years.
• Ask for assistance in contacting an appropriate institution.

Dear John,
How’s it going? It’s been ages since we last talked. You’ll be surprised to know that I’m thinking about applying for a diploma at one of the colleges in your city. Let me tell you a bit more about that.

You already know that I hold a Bachelor’s degree with a major in dentistry. I’ve been practicing this profession for about three years now. Recently, I’ve found that technology and research have developed a great deal, and it’s my turn to keep up with them. Unfortunately, my country doesn’t have the appropriate facilities that will fulfill my demands. So, I realized that London would be the place that I can consider to be my goal.

The problem that I’m facing now is how to apply for that course. I reckon you might be more familiar with the methods of contacting such institutions. I wish you would help me know where my start point should be.

I’m looking forward to your prompt response.

Best wishes,
Jack

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a very good letter. The organisation is very clear and you have covered all the points well. Vocabulary and grammar are both very good and you have used a suitably friendly tone throughout.

There are some obvious errors, including 'fulfill my demands' which is a phrase commonly used by IELTS candidates, but which is most likely to be used by kidnappers or terrorists!

All the best,
David