Task 2 review needed: Location for New homes and accommodation ?

[Xbb]

Nowadays the population of the world is increasing rapidly. New homes and accommodation should be built for this additional population. Some believe that more houses should be constructed in existing towns and cities. Others believe that creating entirely new towns in the countryside to accommodate these houses is the best way. What is your opinion?
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In recent years, the rapid upsurge of world population has been putting enormous stresses on current housing systems’ provision and instigating growing concerns on the options for new house development plans. While I concur the idea of constructing entire new towns in rural areas could bring certain benefits in easing the tension, I am more convinced with those who argue that building new houses and apartments in existing neighborhoods is more advantageous in terms of facilities readiness and cost effectiveness.

On the one hand, constructing entire new accommodations in rural areas could be beneficial in certain situations. Firstly, the development team could create brand new holistic design plans and incorporate sufficient infrastructure provision for new townsfolk with minimal barriers correlated to existing parts. For instance, in my friend’s town in District 2 which just has been established for more than two years, there are many spacious 8-lane roads built to avoid traffic congestions which could not be facilitated in other dense neighborhoods. Secondly, the new community is relatively healthier with less crime rates compared to old towns’ due to the fact that new houses’ prices often could only be afforded by a majority of middle-class families who usually have fewer burdens and stresses to resort to crimes.

On the other hand, I am more persuaded that building new houses and apartments in existing towns bring more significant advantages. For one, the instant access to essential facilities for new residents can be ensured. For instance, my newly built apartment as a part of an old inhabited area allows me to share all existing facilities of shopping, sports and medical services from the very first day of move in, which could not be provisioned in another new town being under construction. Stemming from this advantage, the total investment cost and time for new residences in crowded areas can be significantly reduced as well. In fact, most developers are only required to build new units with no further investment for infrastructure; as a result, construction cost and time could be sharply reduced and lead to more competitive selling price and shorter settling time for customers.

In conclusion, I personally agree with the opinion that building new accommodations in inhabited areas brings more merits than in rural areas owing to its ready provision of essential facilities to new residents as well as the effectiveness of time and cost it may have.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a very good essay. Points are clear and supported. Vocabulary and grammar are very good, with relatively few errors. Make sure that you mention which city you are referring to (District 2?). Organisation of paragraphs and within paragraphs is very good - very clear.

Well done!
David

[Xbb]

Huge thanks, David.
Xbb

[Flick]

Nowadays the population of the world is increasing rapidly. New homes and accommodation should be built for this additional population. Some believe that more houses should be constructed in existing towns and cities. Others believe that creating entirely new towns in the countryside to accommodate these houses is the best way. What is your opinion?
-------------------------------------- **************** --------------------------------------------------
In recent years, the rapid upsurge of world population has been putting enormous stresses on current housing systems’ provision and instigating growing concerns on the options for new housing development plans. While I concur with the idea that constructing entire new towns in rural areas could bring certain benefits in easing the pressure, I am more in alignment with those who argue that building new houses and apartments in existing neighborhoods is more advantageous in terms of infrastructure readiness and cost effectiveness.

On the one hand, constructing entire new accommodations in rural areas could be beneficial in certain situations. Firstly, the development team could create brand new holistic design plans and incorporate sufficient infrastructure provision for new townsfolk with minimal barriers correlated to existing parts. For instance, in my friend’s town in District 2, which has been established for more than two years, there are many spacious 8-lane roads built to avoid traffic congestion which could not be facilitated in other, dense neighborhoods. Secondly, the new community is relatively healthier with a lower crime rate compared to old towns’ due to the fact that new houses prices often could only be afforded by middle-class families who usually have fewer burdens and stresses to resort to crimes.

On the other hand, I am more persuaded that building new houses and apartments in existing towns brings more significant advantages. For one, the instant access to essential facilities for new residents can be ensured. For instance, my newly built apartment is a part of an old inhabited area that allows me to share all existing facilities of shopping, sports and medical services from the very first day of move in, which could not be provisioned in a new town under construction. Stemming from this advantage, the total investment cost and time for new residences in crowded areas can be significantly reduced as well. In fact, most developers are only required to build new units with no further investment for infrastructure. As a result, construction cost and time could be sharply reduced and lead to a more competitive selling price and shorter settling time for customers.

In conclusion, I personally agree with the opinion that building new accommodations in inhabited areas brings more merits than in rural areas owing to its ready provision of essential facilities to new residents as well as the effectiveness of time and cost.

[Xbb]

Dear Flick,
Thanks a lot for your correcting effort.
Could my essay earn the band score of 9 after your revision?