Argument-task 2- less learning practical skills. David pls help me to check it . Thanks

[rairaichan0115]

Q: Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spend on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills.

Do you agree or disagree?

People have different views about pupils spend too much time of studying theories and less time of being taught the technical abilities during their entire students' life. Although I accept that the schoolchildren should spend much time of learning facts, I agree with the idea that they do not spend enough time on developing practical skills.

First of all, it is an undeniable fact that most of the colleges only arrange several practical classes during the weekly curricular. For instance, in Hong Kong, most of the schools only provide one lesson of each laboratory and computer for the children to develop practical skills during a week. Other curriculums which are only talking about theories. This makes it clear that the colleges provide rather technical classes to them. It is obvious that the pupils have insufficient time to study that skills.

Secondly, and even more importantly, though, the structure of majority schools is still traditional. To illustration, in most of the Asian countries, the students only require to sit down on the chairs, open their books and listen to the lecturer without any responses. They even do not have a chance to consider carefully what the educator teaching. Consequently, they will not even think that the significant of studying practical skills. Based on that conservative system, pupils will not have adequate time to be trained the pragmatic skills.

In conclusion, the schoolchildren are overspent time on studying facts rather than learning technical ability during their school’s life which is an undeniable fact. Furthermore, I contend that the system of the school should be changed and the government should assist and support them for this.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

The first main paragraph is confusing.

The second main paragraph may be raising a different point to the first, but it is not clear how.

Overall, grammar and vocabulary are not used to create a coherent argument. Ideas are not clearly developed and points are not made clearly.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Q: Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spend on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills.

Do you agree or disagree?

People have different views about pupils spending too much time studying theories and less time being taught technical abilities during their entire education. Although I accept that the school children should spend time learning facts, I agree with the idea that they do not spend enough time on developing practical skills.

First of all, it is an undeniable fact that many colleges only arrange a few practical classes during the weekly curricular. For instance, in Hong Kong, most of the schools only provide one lesson in the laboratory for the students to develop practical skills during a week. Other classes only cover theories. This makes it clear that the colleges provide rather technical classes to them.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) It is obvious that the pupils have insufficient time to study practical skills.

Secondly, and even more importantly, the structure of the majority of schools is still traditional. To illustrate, in many Asian countries, the students are required to sit down, open their books and listen to the lecturer without any responses. They do not even have a chance to consider what the educator is teaching. Consequently, they will not even consider the importance of studying practical skills. Based on that conservative system, pupils will not have adequate time to be trained in pragmatic skills.

In conclusion, school children spend too much time studying facts rather than learning technical ability during their school life. Furthermore, I contend that this school system should be changed and the government should assist and support this change.