please evaluate my essay

[Ligy]

some people think that it i better to educate boys and girls in separate schools.however,others believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.discuss both views and give your opinion.?

It is true that education is getting more priority than before.Opinions are divided on whether single sex schools are more beneficial for the students than mixed schools or not.However,i believe that students who are studying in mixed school are more confident in future where they have to work with opposite sex.

The benefits of segregated schools in terms of high academic performance of the students and broaden the educational aspirations of both boys and girls.With regards to high educational standards ,learning needs of both boys and girls are different.Girls,for example,prefer to learn through collaborative and discussion based approach while boys are more likely to learn by discussion and teamwork.More specifically, teachers can use specific teaching aids for both girls and boys if they were in separate groups. This means that,more time can generate out of lesson that would enhance the academic performance of the students.Another advantage of single sex school is that it helps to challenge gender stereotypes and to chose career according to their interest.This is because,girls who are studying in segregated school are more likely to select male dominated subjects such as maths and science as their major,on the contrary boys have pursued their career in arts and music.Evidence for this can be seen in the fact that girls who are studying in 26 Girls' DAY SCHOOL TRUST are twice more likely to opt engineering and science than girls nationally.

On the other hand,communication and understanding between gender would increase among students in coed schools.This is because,pupils have opportunity to mingle with other sex and share their ideas while studying.That would assist them to understand each others and act as a mirror of real life.For instance,students who passed from mixed school are more confident in interacting with opposite sex.That would help them to perform well at their work field in the future.
To conclude,even though single sex school brings tremendous benefits to the students,co educational schools have been assisted the students to built confidence to interact with opposite sex .

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Three things need to be changed:

1. First main paragraph, third sentence.
2. The first main paragraph is far longer than the second.
3. The conclusion has no personal opinion.

However, overall, there is good vocabulary, though the range of grammatical structures is limited. There are some mistakes with grammar, but most of these are fairly minor and do not affect meaning.

So, apart from a few glaring errors, this is quite a good essay.

All the best,
David

[Ligy]

Can you please point out my grammatical errors, so that I can correct that.