General Task 1 Please check my writing thanks

[qowlaks]

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city.
Write to your friend explaining what you would like to do. Tell him/her what type of work or studies you have been doing for the past few years and ask for assistance in contacting an appropriate institution.

You should write at least 150 words.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You do NOT need to write your own address.
My answer:


Dear Leo

Hi, Leo! how have you been? Sorry I haven’t kept in touch with you for a while.
I have been studying English for IELTS and it’s for studying in Australia, so i didn’t have time to contact with all my friends.

Anyway this is the point why i’m writing this to you. I recently got interested in studying cooking in Australia, so i have been looking for a suitable college. I need your advice. I think there are many famous colleges in australia, so it’s not easy for me to pick one. I think you have been living there for a long time, so I want to discuss colleges.

I have already done research for many colleges. However, they don’t provide clear requirements for a cookery course. I wonder if there are more requirements as an international student to study in the college and you know an institution to help me.

This email has the list of the colleges i did research and you can refer it. I hope you don’t mind doing this for me. it would be much better to get information from someone living in the country, so i’d happy to hear from you soon. On this occasion,I hope we can have a lot of time to hang out together.

Thanks



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[Flick]

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city.
Write to your friend explaining what you would like to do. Tell him/her what type of work or studies you have been doing for the past few years and ask for assistance in contacting an appropriate institution.

You should write at least 150 words.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You do NOT need to write your own address.
My answer:


Dear Leo

How have you been? Sorry I haven’t been in touch with you for a while. I have been studying English for IELTS so that I can come to Australia, so I didn’t have time to contact my friends.

Anyway this is the point why i’m writing this to you.(<--Reword to: "Anyway, the reason I am writing to you is because I recently became interested in studying cooking in Australia and need to find a suitable college.") I recently got interested in studying cooking in Australia, so i have been looking for a suitable college.(<--Delete this sentence.) I need your advice. I think there are many famous colleges in Australia, so it’s not easy for me to pick one. Because you have been living there for a long time, I want to ask your opinion about the different colleges.

I have already done research on many colleges. However, they don’t provide clear requirements for a cookery course. I wonder if there are more requirements as an international student to study at these colleges, and do you know of an institution that could help me?

This email has the list of the colleges i did research and you can refer it.(<--Reword to: "I've included a list of colleges I have researched.") I hope you don’t mind doing this for me. It would be much better to get information from someone living in the country, so I’d love to hear from you soon. I[/color] hope we can have a lot of time to hang out together.

Thanks



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