I would be very grateful if someone could give me some feedback

[Mdwenzel]

TASK 2 - Academic

Hello
I would be very grateful if someone could give me some feedback.

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, enterprises main aim is to make a profit. But, over the last years is common to see businesses giving in return some of the money they have made to society. Personally, I think that enterprises, as every other citizen, have a social responsability and could retribute the area they belong to in diverse ways. In the further paragraphs I will explain some ideas about how the can give back.

Firstly, I believe companies can give back in the same way they have taken from the place they are located. For example, if a business uses trees as a resource, they must plant some back in order to avoid deforestation in that area. In my country, companies that sell their products mainly in plastic bottles, like Coca-Cola, are the ones in charge of recycling this material and making it usable for any other purpose.

Secondly, another way they can retribute is paying taxes to colaborate with any social necessity the place they are settled in have. Companies do not directly return to society under this scenario, but they give the money help governments in any social need they have. Personally, I think this is the best solution, but there must be a public and organized detail of the needs and incomes to be sure that the money is well spent.

As a conclusion, I totally agree that enterprises should pay back some of their earns. I believe that there are different options to do it, they can retribute in the same way they have taken some resources, or they can pay taxes to be reinvested by governments in any social need they have.


Enviado desde mi iPhone utilizando Tapatalk

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Introduction is nearly as long as the main paragraphs!

I'm not very convinced by the main points. Companies that use trees usually DO plant more - it's how they make money! I'm pretty sure Coca-Cola does not recycle all its plastic. (Which country?) Paying taxes is something companies are required to do by law - making it seem that they are so wonderful for merely fulfilling their legal obligations seems a bit strange.

Overall, vocabulary is not used to create a good argument. Grammar is surprisingly good.

All the best,
David

[Mdwenzel]

Hello!

Introduction is nearly as long as the main paragraphs!

I'm not very convinced by the main points. Companies that use trees usually DO plant more - it's how they make money! I'm pretty sure Coca-Cola does not recycle all its plastic. (Which country?) Paying taxes is something companies are required to do by law - making it seem that they are so wonderful for merely fulfilling their legal obligations seems a bit strange.

Overall, vocabulary is not used to create a good argument. Grammar is surprisingly good.

All the best,
David

Dear David

Tks for the answer.

I thought that on IELTS, we were not judged about the truthfulness of the essay. I believe that we were marked on the ability to write an essay in 40 min. even though argumentes were not real.

Am I wrong?


Enviado desde mi iPhone utilizando Tapatalk

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

No, the arguments have to be based on reality, otherwise you could just write ridiculous things like "I think that hosting a sports event is a good thing for a country because it helps the cats to ride on motorbikes whilst eating Russian food".

You can easily find the public band descriptors for Task 2 online and check the requirements.

All the best,
David