please evaluate my essay

[Ligy]

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them.Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that internal combustion engine cars should be prohibited on roads as it causes environmental pollution and electric cars are suggested as an alternative.This essay agrees with this statement because combustion of fossil fuels would increase environmental temperature and fossil fuels are expensive .

To begin with, burning of fossil fuels results in the formation of carbon dioxide and other chemicals.This toxic gases have the ability to absorb infrared radiations from the sun and that may results in green house effect .Green house gases would increase atmospheric temperature.Recent study conducted in the metropolitan cities of India reveals that there is a massive spike in the environmental temperature due to the proliferation of automobiles.

Moreover,fossil fuels such as diesel,petrol and coal are expensive as compared to electric energy.This is because electric energy can produce from various methods.For instance,in India electricity is generated from natural resources like wind power,water and solar energy that's why the cost of electric energy is lower than fossil fuels.Substitution of petrol or diesel car with hybrid ones is a better option for saving money.

To conclude,I believe that cars which runs on fossil fuels would pollute the environment and the cost of these fuels are also high.Hence, replacing this car's with electric ones may be cost effective on long run and expel less toxic chemicals.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

The point in the first main paragraph is good, but the second main paragraph is simply untrue. India runs mainly on fossil fuels and alternative energy sources are not always cheaper.

Grammatical range is limited and there are quite a lot of basic errors. Vocabulary is good with some topic-specific items.

Just change that second main paragraph and work on the grammar!

All the best,
David

[Flick]

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them.Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that internal combustion engine cars should be prohibited on roads as they cause environmental pollution, and electric cars have been suggested as an alternative. This essay agrees with this statement because combustion of fossil fuels increases environmental temperature and fossil fuels are expensive.

To begin with, burning of fossil fuels results in the formation of carbon dioxide and other chemicals. These toxic gases have the ability to absorb infrared radiation from the sun, which may result in a green house effect. Green house gases increase atmospheric temperature. Recent studies conducted in the metropolitan cities of India have revealed that there is a massive spike in the environmental temperature due to the proliferation of automobiles.

Moreover, fossil fuels such as diesel, petrol and coal are expensive as compared to electric energy. This is because electric energy can be produced via various methods. For instance, in India, electricity is generated from natural resources like wind power, water and solar energy, which is why the cost of electric energy is lower than fossil fuels. Substituting petrol or diesel cars with hybrid ones is a better option for saving money.

To conclude, I believe that cars which run on fossil fuels pollute the environment, and the cost of these fuels is also high. Hence, replacing these cars with electric ones may be cost effective in the long run and expel fewertoxic chemicals.