Please advise my writing task 2 Thank you so much:)

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Praoparn
Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2016 5:52 am

Please advise my writing task 2 Thank you so much:)

Post by Praoparn »

:) Essay topics: more and more information about lives of celebrities is now found in newspapers, magazines and online.why is this happening? what are drawbacks for the reading public?

Celebrities are one of the most popular careers that many people have been dreaming about for a whole of their lives. While a load of information of famous people could be easily found, sometimes people share too many celebrities’ private lives on the media.

In recent years there has been an increase in the demand of public wanting to know about the celebrities’ lives, as a result, a lot of media has been focusing on making news and publishing magazines. If none of these kinds of things were available, the celebrities themselves might not be able to continue with their career. Clearly, these are all linked together.

Regarding some drawbacks, fake news is commonly found on the internet, leading to the disappointment of the owners of the stories. For instance, a female model, who has already had a partner, was believed to have a special relationship with the other guy, and since this might not be a true story, it is unfair for her that her status was falsified, even before she would have a chance to deny it. In a few cases, this could result in severe consequences.

In summary, the availability of the media could lead to the breach of their information. As a whole, the consumers are advised to concern of these and should read information from the reliable sources.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Re: Please advise my writing task 2 Thank you so much:)

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

The two main paragraphs just introduce the issues. You need more development, along with possible remedies/solutions.

Vocabulary and grammar are clearly limited in terms of range, but accuracy is reasonable.

Basically, just too short and simple.
David
Praoparn
Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2016 5:52 am

Re: Please advise my writing task 2 Thank you so much:)

Post by Praoparn »

Thank you very much for your help. I'll improve it next time. :D
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