Dear Sir, could you please asses my writing task 1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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abnasser
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue May 02, 2017 12:37 pm

Dear Sir, could you please asses my writing task 1

Post by abnasser »

The first chart gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The first graph shows the sport expenditures covered by British families for their children over the period between 2008 and 2014 while the second graph illustrates the number of the children in the UK who participated in different sport activities namely, football, athletics and swimming, over that time frame.

Overall, it can be clearly seen from the charts that the amount of money spent in children sport by British households increased significantly over the period of the recording while football was the most popular sport among the children in the UK.

To begin, the number of British kids who enjoyed playing football was all the time high compared to the other two sports. In 2008, around 8 million children in UK played football, and this remained fairly constant till 2010, after which a slight increase is observed, it finished at a peak of 9 million in the end of the recording.

Conversely, participation of the children in athletics and swimming showed a different trend. In 2008, the number of the kids who were interested in swimming stood approximately at 2 million whereas the figure for athletics was low, just about a half million. Further, there was a notable increase in the popularity of those sports, with both rising steadily and reaching a maximum of 4.5 million and 5 million respectively in 2014, with the exception of low participation in athletics in the period between 2008 and 2010.

However, the financial commitment of British households to their children started relatively high at 20 millions and kept rising steadily and finally exceeded 30 million per year.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Dear Sir, could you please asses my writing task 1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

You should discuss the three sports separately as they each have slightly different trends.

However, vocabulary and grammar are both good, so this is not a bad report overall. You could also expand the overview a little to include the other lines.

All the best,
David
abnasser
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue May 02, 2017 12:37 pm

Re: Dear Sir David, could you please reassess my writing task 1

Post by abnasser »

The first chart gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The first graph shows the sport expenditures covered by British families for their children over the period between 2008 and 2014 while the second graph illustrates the number of the children in the UK who participated in different sport activities namely, football, athletics and swimming, over that time frame.

Overall, it can be clearly seen from the charts that the amount of money spent in children sport by British households increased significantly over the period of the recording. While football was the most popular sport among the children in the UK, there was a dramatic change in the attitude of British kids towards athletics in the last four years.

To begin, the number of British kids who enjoyed playing football was all the time high compared to the other two sports. In 2008, around 8 million children in UK played football, and this remained fairly constant till 2010, after which a slight increase is observed, it finished at a peak of 9 million in the end of the recording.

With regarding to swimming, In 2008, the number of the kids who were interested in swimming stood approximately at 2 million which was higher than that for athletics and went up at a steady
rate to reach in 2014 a maximum of almost 4.5 million kids.

Conversely, participation of the children in athletics showed a different trend. The figure for athletics was at the begin low compared with other two sports, just about a half million. Further, in the period between 2008 and 2010 it remained fairly constant. Surprisingly, the number of kids who took part in this sport rose dramatically until it reached in 2012 a peak of just over 5 million, after which another period of relative stable figure is observed.

However, the financial commitment of British households to their children started relatively high at 20 millions and kept rising steadily and finally exceeded 30 million per year.
Attachments
graph1.png
graph1.png (47.15 KiB) Viewed 1593 times
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