Please evaluate my essay(Writing task 2)

[long.tv2000]

It has been said that people who read for pleasure have developed imaginations and gained better language skills than people who prefer watching TV. Do you agree or disagree?


In this day and age, books and means of media are supposedly the two most common measures in order to gather informations. While it is true to some certain extent that book readers indeed have some transpicuous advantages to achieve an impeccable use of language and imaginative skills but this essay would argue that the optimum method is the combination between 2 aforementioned approaches.

On the one hand, it is undoubtedly evident that written informations can promote lexical range of readers. The languages used on books are purely academic and poetry. Therefore, book readers may put in some considerable number of time in order of time to fully assimilate what the author tries to convey. This action builds up reader’s range of vocabulary tremendously. Another rationale to advocate this method is that book reader are often perceive the author’s panorama in a active way which means that the view the author tries to draw is not identical as in the eyes of readers. Therefore it is vital to use their imaginative skills to access the content.

On the other hand, I would state that the optimum way is the combination of written and verbal language. To language learners, the mix between different language skills afford them adequate use of language which help them immensely on their study. Moreover, watching a movie is a correct choice of people who don’t want to squander or have much time to read a book. A load of blockbusters these days is a spin-off from popular novels such as The Great Gatsby.

To conclude, while reading has some superior effects on our imaginative and language skills but TV is also the effective measure for non native speakers to boost speaking and listening ability.

(288 words)

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Great question!

In the first main paragraph, you fall victim to the classic problem of over-generalising - "The languages used on books are purely academic and poetry." WRONG!!! There are plenty of paperback thrillers and romances to refute this assertion completely!

There's a lot of strange language in this essay. Another rationale to advocate this method? Perceive the author's panorama? 'Spin-off' is used incorrectly. A spin-off uses characters from a book/film/TV show in a new book/film/TV show, rather than a new interpretation of an existing work.

The second main paragraph needs more development. The conclusion needs further explanation. The introduction should be shorter.

All the best,
David

[long.tv2000]

Thank you for your reply!!

I agree that I used some strange expressions in here partly because of I want to make my essay sounds academic and ye, it's a double-edged sword. Anyway, I will try to improve next time.

[Flick]

It has been said that people who read for pleasure have developed imaginations and gained better language skills than people who prefer watching TV. Do you agree or disagree?


In this day and age, books and various means of media are supposedly the two most common measures in order to gather information. While it is true to some certain extent that book readers indeed have some transpicuous(<--This is not needed. It makes it harder to understand your meaning.) advantages to achieve an impeccable use of language and imaginative skills, this essay argues that the optimum method is the combination between the two aforementioned approaches.

On the one hand, it is undoubtedly evident that written information can improve the lexical range of readers. The languages used in books are purely academic and poetic. Therefore, book readers may put in some considerable amount of time in order to fully assimilate what the author is trying to convey. This action builds up the reader’s range of vocabulary tremendously. Another rationale to advocate this method is that book reader are often perceive the author’s panorama in a active way which means that the view the author tries to draw is not identical as in the eyes of readers.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Therefore, it is vital to use their imaginative skills to access the content.

On the other hand, I would state that the optimum way(<--Optimum way for what?) is the combination of written and verbal language. To language learners, the mix between different language skills afford them adequate use of language which help them immensely on their study.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Moreover, watching a movie is a good choice for people who don’t want to squander or have much time to read a book. A load of blockbusters these days are adaptations of popular novels such as The Great Gatsby.

To conclude, while reading has some superior effects on our imaginative and language skills, TV is also an effective measure for non-native speakers to boost speaking and listening ability.

(288 words)