Please evaluate my Writing Task 2 - Learning a foreign language at primary school

[Zoranis]

Essay topic:

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer:

The knowledge of a foreign idiom may give a better guidance on life for children when they start learning since the elementary school rather than high school. The pros of begin to have a early contact with the foreign language surely overhelm the cons of studying it after conclude primary school.

It should be noted that there are some disadvantages in this process either, but not so relevant to left children without early language classes. Children could be confused in the beginning of learning process. They will mingle their mother tongue with the new foreign vocabulary, however, as the time goes by, elementary school’s kids will surpass this issue when developing a better understanding of language practice.

A beneficial aspect of learning early is that kids will improve faster than teenagers on social skills, for to learn a new idiom one should spend a minimum of thousand hours practicing its speaking. This process will guide children to a better development in life. One with a sharper idiom skill in his life childhood is likely to master this ability in his youth years giving him better chances of get a job, college’s scholarship, etc.

Therefore, the advantages of children learning the earliest possible will give them a great opportunity to achieve more success in life than the cons attached to the issue, mainly on a world where globalization is the key to achieve greatness.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Your points are good but not well-developed. (The point about a thousand hours is incorrect, but the basic idea of constant practice is true.) Try to explain them in more detail and give examples if possible.

Vocabulary is reasonable - more detail would help you to get a higher score. There are some obvious mistakes (life childhood, in this process either).

Grammar is the real problem here. There really are a LOT of errors (not so relevant to left children, learning the earliest possible. I'm afraid you need to get out the grammar exercise book this summer!

All the best,
David

[Zoranis]

Thank you again David for your evaluation!

You are right. I must focus on grammar too. Awful essay this one I wrote. However, I'll improve.

Best regards,

[Flick]

Essay topic:

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer:

The knowledge of a foreign language may give better guidance on life to children if they start learning it in elementary school rather than high school. The pros of having early contact with a foreign language surely woutweigh the cons of studying it at primary school.

It should be noted that there are some disadvantages in this process too, but these not severe enough to forego teaching children early language classes. For example, children could be confused when first learning the new language. They might mingle their mother tongue with the new foreign vocabulary. However, as time goes by, elementary school students will overcome this issue when developing a better understanding of the language.

A beneficial aspect of learning a foreign language at an early age is that kids will improve faster than teenagers on social skills, for to learn a new language, one should spend a minimum of a thousand hours practicing its speaking. This process will guide children to a better development in life. One with a sharper language skill in his childhood is likely to master this ability in his youth, giving him better chances of finding a job, earning college scholarships, etc.

Therefore, the advantages of children learning a second language at the earliest age possible will give them a great opportunity to achieve more success in life in a world where globalization is the key to achieving greatness.

[Zoranis]

Thank you Flick!

I think I should study the Cambridge grammar books from beginner levels.