Ielts writing task1 of the Cambridge book 5

[Shokir]

The provided is a graph revealing discrepancy in 65 and over aged populations of three different countries in a century time starting from 1940.
Overall, Japan’s senior citizen’s rate is expected to dominate at the end of the period, even though it was the least popular at the beginning.
By 1989, a gradual increase was seen in both USA’s and Sweden’s elderly people’s percentage rising from 10% and 7% accordingly to about 15% the two together(shall I put BOTH instead of THE TWO TOGETHER?). After the year of 2000, prediction reads that 65 and over aged population of the USA will grow exponentially to just under 25% in 2040 in contrast to Sweden whose population is to ascend gradually to just over 25% at that juncture.
Turning to Japan, its 65 and over aged citizens’ proportion recovered its initial percentage of 5% in 2000 after tracing a slight decrease. However, expectations for 2040 shows that Japan’s population of this category may account for approximately 27% following an instant rise.

[Shokir]

Given a linegraph indicating some statistics for people of 65 and over in three countries: namely, Japan, Sweden and USA during a century period. The y axis concerns the number of people on a percentage scale while x axis shows the years from 1940 to 2040. (Main body) It is by no means clear from the graph that throughout the period all these three countries experienced constant growth at different levels. Starting at somewhere around 8 in 1940, the number of both elderly americans and the swedish followed similar trend and increased to reach their peak at 25% in 2040. In stark contrast, merely 5 % of Japan population was of this age group in 1940. Eventhough the line for Japan will remain by far lower than other two till 2030, it is likely to overtake them in 2040 for about 3 % . Overall( don't know what to write)
which one is written better?