Please evaluate my essay

[Ligy]

Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employers, why? Do you think is it a positive or negative development ?

It is true that certain countries have implemented a new legislation that restrict the employees from working long hours. This essay will explains that the productivity and health of the employees will improve as the result of this new law.

To begin with, reducing the working hours might prevent the exploitation of workers.This is because, many companies are pushing their staffs to work overtime without any incentives others than their normal wages.By doing so, companies can make huge profit with small expenditure.Most of the IT companies in India are the prime example, which makes their employees to work extra hours without additional payment.Thus, the implementation of new law would protect the employees from work exploitation.

Moreover, limiting the job hours has tremendous advantages. Firstly, this would increases the productivity of workers. This is because of the fact that, employees get time for relaxation, and they can also spent time with their family members while having fix hours duty.This would assist them to work with a fresh mind which may eliminate the errors at work. For instance, a survey conducted among successful business in India had revealed that these companies have fixed working hours. Secondly, physical and mental health of employees will improve, if the companies would have reduced their working hours.People may get time for doing exercise and eating healthy food that would prevent the health issues associated with unhealthy lifestyle which are common in office workers.

To conclude, reducing the work hours improves the productivity and health of the workers.It is recommended that the government should implement this law in all countries in order to protect the employees rights.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a good essay. Your points are good and developed. I appreciate that, in the first main paragraph, you specify IT companies in India.

The range and accuracy of the grammar is good. Mistakes do not change meaning or interfere with comprehension.

The range of vocabulary is very good, with plenty of topic-specific items related to work.

The most obvious mistake is that the two main paragraphs are of very unequal lengths, but both contain good development, so this is a minor issue here.

Well done!

David