Please assess my writing task 2

[yendo]

TASK: 1. People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

MY ESSAY: It is often said that changes motivate the development, and that changes can bring new opportunities. However, many people seem to be reluctant to make changes in their lives. This, consequently may cause several problems.

First of all, being averse to changes can be an obstacle to your personal growth. Take studying abroad as an example. Young people often choose to leave their country and go studying abroad; at the beginning they have to face with many problems in the new environment, such as cultural differences or adapting to a new lifestyle. As a result, they can potentially feel stressful and frustrated but, by the time they will integrate into new community and will develop several useful skills which they would not have ever improved if they had refused the change in their lives. Furthermore resisting against variations can be disadvantageous for business. For instance, businessmen are always concerned with new methods to enhance their activities or the quality of products they sell in order to make much money. Entrepreneurs who stick to old business techniques may not be competitive enough to survive. In contrast, those who love and experiment modern technology will sell their products easily in lower prices and better quality.

There are several solutions to overcome problems arise from refusing changes. Firstly, people should keep themselves well informed about current news and knowledges by, for example reading newspapers and accessing to the internet. It is lack of information that makes people hesitant about changes. Only with all the information needed people can be determined to accept variations. Secondly, people should learn to acknowledge the fact that changes can bring more advantages than disadvantages and that changes are sometimes inevitable. By doing this, they would be rewarded with satisfactions and great achievements during their lifetime.

In conclusion, resisting to changes can cause several problems that need individual efforts to overcome. Making changes when necessary can make better our lives.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a very good essay! Your points are very clear and well-developed. Organisation is very clear with very good use of connectives.

The range and accuracy of the grammatical structures is very good. There are some very complex structures using modals that are produced perfectly.

The range of vocabulary is also very good, with precise use of some higher level items.

Well done!
David