Please Kindly assess my writing task 2, thanks!

[Kandy]

<Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?>

Having children makes families happier than ever thing in life. However, the exact age at which parents should have babies is often debated. Whether planning for a child at a young age or later, advantages and disadvantages can be identified. This essay will analyze these items in an effort to prove one age group better than the other, at which to begin having a baby.

Firstly, many new parents has several reasons over delaying their childbirth. For one, as evidenced couples in my country, young families have the propensity for prioritizing their careers over taking parental roles. In addition to this, the heightened vital soft skills of new parents make them much ability of building a strong family relationship and mature enough to live independently before having children. This of course accelerates their rapid progress in their career not seen at younger moms and dads. It is thus clear that having children later in people’s life has certain undeniable reasons.

Due to this information, there are some drawbacks and benefits to planning a new member at home lately. If parents are not having children early, it could cause the possibility of infertility a challenge that happens when they get old. However, although this is a concern that should be taken seriously, development of medical in nowadays can help them a lot as in vitro fertilization. This is a practice that many people usually pursue even they get old. Further, having children late enhance the level of job performance, people can obtain a lot of real experience and earn a lot money, their children then can pursue higher education. Thus, after analysis, the advantages to having a child later are not quite as discouraging as they may at first seem.

The above discussion makes clear that, despite select drawbacks, having children is more effectively executed later parents than younger one. I thus hope governments the world over encourage the introduction of having children among their young families.
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Thank you so much
Kandy

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

This is a very good essay. Your points are clear with some good development. Organisation is clear, with very good use of connectives.

The range and accuracy of grammatical structures is impressive. You have used a nice variety of vocabulary, including some high-level, topic-specific items (in vitro fertilization, infertility). There are mistakes, but these do not affect meaning, except the last sentence of the second main paragraph - I think you mean DISadvantages.

Be careful to avoid mistakes that change meaning - these can be very problematic!

Well done!
David

[Flick]

<Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?>

Having children makes families happier than anything else in life. However, the exact age at which parents should have babies is often debated. Whether planning for a child at a young age or later, advantages and disadvantages can be identified. This essay will analyze these items in an effort to prove one age group is better than the other at which to have children.

Firstly, many new parents have several reasons for delaying childbirth. For one, as evidenced by couples in my country, young families have the propensity for prioritizing their careers over their parental roles. In addition to this, the heightened vital soft skills of new parents make them much ability of building a strong family relationship and mature enough to live independently before having children.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) This of course accelerates their rapid progress in their career not seen by younger moms and dads. It is thus clear that having children later in life has certain undeniable advantages.

However, there are some drawbacks and benefits to planning a new family member later in life. If parents don't have children early, they could struggle with infertility. Although this is a concern that should be taken seriously, medical developments nowadays can help them with in vitro fertilization. This is a practice that many people usually pursue as they age. Further, having children late enhances the level of job performance; people can obtain a lot of real experience and earn a lot money, and their children then can pursue higher education. Thus, after analysis, the disadvantages of having a child later are not quite as discouraging as they may at first seem.

The above discussion makes clear that, despite select drawbacks, having children is more effectively executed later in life. I thus hope governments the world over encourage the introduction of having children among their young families.(<--This sentence directly contradicts the previous sentence. Should government encourage families to wait until they are older, or to have children when they are younger?)
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Thank you so much
Kandy