Dear forum members could you please correct my essay and also give some advice. Thank you!
The question:
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to
get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The essay:
It is widely accepted that young people should get an additional education after finishing high school. However some people and youngsters themselves often argue that it would be better to start the career right after graduation from a school in order to save some years. In this essay both points of view will be discussed and benefits of additional education will be clearly showed.
When youngsters graduate from a high school they tend to wish to become more independent as soon as possible. Moreover, some of adults, in the majority of cases who are without a degree, also support immediate starting of a career. For example, it is common for young people to overestimate their own abilities and therefore suppose that they might be successful in a job without any degree. Taking this in consideration some of young people refuse to go to colleges or universities in order to gain their early money and to increase their self-esteem.
Even though there are a lot of examples of successful adults who did not attend tertiary education, for the majority of youngsters becoming a student is definitely give a boost for their lives rather than waste of some years. For instance, when attending a college or a university student acquire much more than only knowledge and skills. It is scientifically proven that students also develop their social skills and gain networks and that these benefits directly reflect in their success at workplaces. Moreover, an ability of studying new areas and academic thinking are also become a habit and significantly help these people after graduation. All the benefits of tertiary education mentioned above are definitely useful for young people.
Even though, in some cases, young people can be successful without gaining a degree, graduation from a college or a university allow to acquire much more benefits. These benefits include professional knowledge, social skills and networking and they are crucial for the professional career. Therefore for most of youngster it would be better to enroll in a college or a university after finishing a high school.