Some people prefer to see live events (such as music and sports), but others think it is better to watch the events on television. Discuss both of the view and give your opinion.
In the present age, it seems that more people enjoy attending events. Some people would like to see live events while many argue that it is good to watch it on television. This argument will be discussed before arriving a satisfactory outcome.
On the one hand, some people in the opinion that participating live events are more exciting and interesting. As like-minded people can group together to support or enjoy the same show. For example, in the music concert, all the audiences are big fans of the singer and they can share their enthusiasm with each other. This makes it clear that watching events on the television is not able to all you to do so. Thus, it is clear why some people gravitate towards attending live events.
On the other hand, many argue that watching events on television is a good choice as it is cost effective. Because it is free to watch it on television at any time. For instance, the ticket fee for Olympic is incredibly expensive. Thus, not all people can afford the ticket fee. After analyzing this fact, it is certainly true that why many support seating in front of the television to look on the performance.
By way of conclusion, both of views are supported and refuted by many. However, after analyzing these points of view, I personally believe that attending live events is much fun than watching on television. I am highly recommended that it is worthwhile for people to join a live event at least one time in your life.
pls kindly help me! thank you! task2-live event
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rairaichan0323
- Posts: 196
- Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:03 am
Re: pls kindly help me! thank you! task2-live event
Some people prefer to see live events (such as music and sports), but others think it is better to watch the events on television. Discuss both of the view and give your opinion.
In the present age, it seems that more people enjoy attending events( already you gave your opinion here). Some people would like to watch live programmes while many argue that it is good to watch ( remove "it") on television. This argument will be discussed before arriving a satisfactory outcome. I can give you universal sentence that fits here in discussion essay) This essay is an attempt to analyse both sides before arriving at a satisfactory outcome this one is suitable if they ask you discuss and give your opinion. but in case if they ask just discuss, then (This is an attempt to analyse both sides without any prejudice)
On the one hand, some people are of the opinion that participating ( participating is a wrong word, this something you take part in the event,) live events are more exciting and interesting. Besides, like-minded people can group together to support and enjoy the show. For example, in the music concert, the audiences are big fans of the singer and they can share their enthusiasm with each other. ( this example is not clear)This makes it clear that watching events on the television is not able to all you to do so ( avoid this sentence, dont compare other view here). Thus, it is clear why some people gravitate towards attending live events.
On the other hand, many argue that watching events on television is a good choice since it is cost effective. This means that it is less expensive to watch on television and convenient to watch programme at any time. For instance, the ticket fee for Olympic is incredibly expensive, so some people may not afford the ticket. After analyzing this fact, it is certainly true that why many prefer to watch shows on television unit.
By way of conclusion ( use " In conclusion" ), both views are supported and refuted by many. However, after analyzing these points of view, I personally believe that attending live events is much better than watching on television. I am highly recommending that it is worth for people to attend live events even though it is expensive
repeated words,
events 7
people 7
television 6
live 5
many 4
watching 3
attending 3
you have a good structure but try to use simple sentences than complex. because, with complex sentences, you make examiner hard to understand. try complex if you are 100 % sure that it is accurate.
for example, if use very simple sentences , the you make essay flow logically, the examiner understands as he/she reads. so it gives more marks for TR and CC. Try not to repeat words, the your lexis would be good.
for grammar you get band 5, if never tried complex patterns but still ok, becasue you may get band 7 in TR and CC , so you may end up in 6.5.
if you want band 7, then you have work hard on grammar part.
the above essay could be band 5.5 ( however, I am not an assessor)
In the present age, it seems that more people enjoy attending events( already you gave your opinion here). Some people would like to watch live programmes while many argue that it is good to watch ( remove "it") on television. This argument will be discussed before arriving a satisfactory outcome. I can give you universal sentence that fits here in discussion essay) This essay is an attempt to analyse both sides before arriving at a satisfactory outcome this one is suitable if they ask you discuss and give your opinion. but in case if they ask just discuss, then (This is an attempt to analyse both sides without any prejudice)
On the one hand, some people are of the opinion that participating ( participating is a wrong word, this something you take part in the event,) live events are more exciting and interesting. Besides, like-minded people can group together to support and enjoy the show. For example, in the music concert, the audiences are big fans of the singer and they can share their enthusiasm with each other. ( this example is not clear)This makes it clear that watching events on the television is not able to all you to do so ( avoid this sentence, dont compare other view here). Thus, it is clear why some people gravitate towards attending live events.
On the other hand, many argue that watching events on television is a good choice since it is cost effective. This means that it is less expensive to watch on television and convenient to watch programme at any time. For instance, the ticket fee for Olympic is incredibly expensive, so some people may not afford the ticket. After analyzing this fact, it is certainly true that why many prefer to watch shows on television unit.
By way of conclusion ( use " In conclusion" ), both views are supported and refuted by many. However, after analyzing these points of view, I personally believe that attending live events is much better than watching on television. I am highly recommending that it is worth for people to attend live events even though it is expensive
repeated words,
events 7
people 7
television 6
live 5
many 4
watching 3
attending 3
you have a good structure but try to use simple sentences than complex. because, with complex sentences, you make examiner hard to understand. try complex if you are 100 % sure that it is accurate.
for example, if use very simple sentences , the you make essay flow logically, the examiner understands as he/she reads. so it gives more marks for TR and CC. Try not to repeat words, the your lexis would be good.
for grammar you get band 5, if never tried complex patterns but still ok, becasue you may get band 7 in TR and CC , so you may end up in 6.5.
if you want band 7, then you have work hard on grammar part.
the above essay could be band 5.5 ( however, I am not an assessor)
JAN 2014 L 8.5 R 8 W 6.5 S 6.5
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
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rairaichan0323
- Posts: 196
- Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:03 am
Re: pls kindly help me! thank you! task2-live event
thank Durai! u always give me a lot of gd comments.
Could you please check this essay for me ? I confuse that my supporting points are correct or not? If it is incorrect, then I should write what the bad points of raising the fuel, isn't it?
One more question. I often few that I have difficulties of think about the example. Could you please suggest me some ways to solve this problem? thank you very much!!
thank you for your time and I am looking forward to hearing your response.
This is the link of my essay
http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1148
Could you please check this essay for me ? I confuse that my supporting points are correct or not? If it is incorrect, then I should write what the bad points of raising the fuel, isn't it?
One more question. I often few that I have difficulties of think about the example. Could you please suggest me some ways to solve this problem? thank you very much!!
thank you for your time and I am looking forward to hearing your response.
This is the link of my essay
http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1148