Please grade my essay - Official International Language

[prathap]

Some people say there should be only one official international language. Others say that it is bad. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.
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In today's globalized world, language is the key factor to exchange the information between nations or cultures in a friendly manner. This led to a discussion on having single official international language. Some individuals argues that a common language across the globe is not a bright idea and could bring some other issues. As far as I am concerned, it is better to have an official international language.

To begin with, a language is an identity of a region or culture. Making one language as a global linguistic could bring the loos of many other languages. For instance, in my part of the world, many people are concentrating only on English language due to the fact that it is extremely necessary to have a good English knowledge to succeed in our life. As a result, the current generation children are loosing their mother languages. Moreover, they are not taking active participation on some games and festivals which are tied up with local languages. Therefore, having a common international language could kill many traditions, culture and mother languages.

However, there are huge number of advantages by having a single international language. Firstly,every citizen in this world will be able to communicate with others. For example, nowadays, while finding friends over internet, many individuals prefer to look for the friends of common language because it makes communication simple, ease and perfect. Secondly, many talented individuals are not travelling to developed nations to showcase their knowledge or innovative ideas because of the communication gap. As a result, their talent is becoming useless. For example, many Chinese people are having tremendous knowledge on Electronics. Unfortunately, they are not sharing their innovations to developed nations such as USA , UK because they are weak in English language. Thirdly, a government could save money and concentrate on train their citizens on one language instead of many. This will save money to the government and time to the individuals.

To sum up,a common language across the globe is beneficial to everyone. At the same time, every individual should give respect to their tradition and culture and try to retain them.

[durai]

Hi Prathap,


It's a good essay..points are clear and placed in position.
However, second supporting paragraph lacks clarity because you added three points, I would recommend to stick with only one idea and expand with examples.
try to reduce word count to around 270.
and you have used languages - 13 times, try to find alternatives.

To me, looks like band 6.5 to 7

[Flick]

Some people say there should be only one official international language. Others say that it is bad. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.
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In today's globalized world, language is the key factor to exchange information between nations or cultures in a friendly manner. This has led to a discussion on having a single official international language. Some individuals argue that a common language across the globe is not a bright idea and could bring some other issues. As far as I am concerned, it is better to have an official international language.

To begin with, language makes up part of the identity of a region or culture. Making one language a global standard could bring about the loss of many other languages. For instance, in my part of the world, many people are concentrating only on English due to the fact that it is extremely necessary to have a good understanding of English to succeed in life. As a result, the current generation of children are losing their native tongue. Moreover, they are not actively participating in some games and festivals which are tied up with local languages. (<-- is there a reason for this? Because they are studying? Or playing on the internet?) Therefore, having a common international language could kill many traditions, cultures and mother tongues.

However, there are huge number of advantages by having a single international language. Firstly, every citizen in this world will be able to communicate with others. For example, nowadays, while finding friends over internet, many individuals prefer to look for people who speak a common language because it makes communication simple. Secondly, many talented individuals are not travelling to developed nations to showcase their knowledge or innovative ideas because of the communication gap. As a result, their talent not being used. This can be demonstrated by the fact that(<-- you used 'for example' just above. Repeating it too many times loses the impact.) many Chinese people have tremendous knowledge of electronics. Unfortunately, they are not sharing their innovations to developed nations such as USA or the UK because they are weak in the English language, making communication impossible. Thirdly, a government could save money and concentrate on teaching their citizens one language instead of many. This will save money to the government and time to the individuals.(<-- can you be more specific? You state twice that it will save money. How?)

To sum up, a common language across the globe is beneficial to everyone. At the same time, every individual should give respect to their traditions and culture and try to retain them.