Please evaluate - IELTS General - Task 2 Essay

[Murali.Arun]

Dear Team,
Could you please evaluate the below essay. your valuable reviews / feedback will sure help me to fine tune my writing.
Thank You!!!!!!
Question
"Artificial intelligent robots are increasing taking human jobs
Agree or Disagree ? "

Human employment is continuously decreasing as a result of artificial intelligent robots. While some people think that human workforce will eventually become obsolete, others state that there are certain jobs which cannot be automated and performed by Robotics. This essay will discuss the reasons why robots will eventually be able to perform any given task and will therefore replace all human workforce.

It is irrefutable to say that, soon the robots will eventually supersede human employment and outperform us on every possible task. Automation is becoming increasingly popular in almost all the industries. Even some of the industries started to implement the automation mechanism to produce their products. Robots are becoming intelligent at an extremely rapid pace. For instance, the US car manufacture giant Tesla started its new production unit using robots to manufacture the driverless car and planning to release the cars by the end of 2019.


Despite the inevitability of the human workforce replacement, some people are not aware of the rate at which the robotics are increased and spread across the industries and rival Human jobs. These people strongly believe certain jobs such as medical cannot be perform by robots or automated. However, researchers use millions of exiting data to program the algorithm in robots to spot on health issue to provide the pristine reports to the patient. hence it is the matter of time even the most complex human Jobs such as medicine will be mechanised.

Robotics are already started to replace the human employment and soon will spread across all the industries and fields to completely replace human workforce. In my perception, it’s only a matter to time before robots will outperform us irrespective of the field or skills.

[saqibali]

Sorry, I have little knowledge to rates your essay. I have written my essay on same topic. You may wants to compare it. I humbly request readers to identify mistakes in my essay too.

Artificial intelligence powered robots are replacing skilled workers at a surprising rate. Many of clericals and official jobs are perfectly being executed by robots. Some people believe that the robots are replacing human jobs which some refute the theory citing need of human to run the robots. I strongly agree that artificial intelligent robots are taking human jobs. Analyzing Automatic Cash machines and automatic vending machines will prove the stance.
Artificial intelligence based automatic cash machines have totally replaced clerical staff of banks. For example, in past, clerics in bank used to process cheques and issue cash to applicants. Now, the whole process is totally taken care by intelligent automatic machines with added advantage of round the clock service. Since the automatic machines are quick and cheap in service, clerics are not more employed to serve customers. Hence, it’s clear that the artificial intelligence based robots are taking human jobs.
Vending machines have replaced shopkeepers and cashier staff of markers. For example, in past, a cashier used to collect money and issue product to customers. In contrast to this practice, now, automatic vending machines accept cash, count it and issue product to customers in round the clock. In addition to this, the service is very cheap, efficient and effective. Hence, it is clear that artificial intelligence based robots are taking human jobs.
Analyzing both the applications of automatic banking machines and artificial intelligent vending machines, it is clear that robots are replacing the human in jobs market. It is recommended that Government should enhance skills of people to the level that they could survive to robotics era for decades.

[saqibali]

Sorry, I have little knowledge to rates your essay. I have written my essay on same topic. You may wants to compare it. I humbly request readers to identify mistakes in my essay too.

Artificial intelligence powered robots are replacing skilled workers at a surprising rate. Many of clericals and official jobs are perfectly being executed by robots. Some people believe that the robots are replacing human jobs which some refute the theory citing need of human to run the robots. I strongly agree that artificial intelligent robots are taking human jobs. Analyzing Automatic Cash machines and automatic vending machines will prove the stance.
Artificial intelligence based automatic cash machines have totally replaced clerical staff of banks. For example, in past, clerics in bank used to process cheques and issue cash to applicants. Now, the whole process is totally taken care by intelligent automatic machines with added advantage of round the clock service. Since the automatic machines are quick and cheap in service, clerics are not more employed to serve customers. Hence, it’s clear that the artificial intelligence based robots are taking human jobs.
Vending machines have replaced shopkeepers and cashier staff of markers. For example, in past, a cashier used to collect money and issue product to customers. In contrast to this practice, now, automatic vending machines accept cash, count it and issue product to customers in round the clock. In addition to this, the service is very cheap, efficient and effective. Hence, it is clear that artificial intelligence based robots are taking human jobs.
Analyzing both the applications of automatic banking machines and artificial intelligent vending machines, it is clear that robots are replacing the human in jobs market. It is recommended that Government should enhance skills of people to the level that they could survive to robotics era for decades.

Artificial intelligence driven robots are replacing skilled workers at an unbelievable rate.Today, many of clerical and official jobs are perfectly executed by robots with exceptional credibility. Some people believe that robots are replacing human jobs while some refute this perception. I strongly agree that artificial intelligence powered robots are taking human jobs. Analyzing automatic cash machines and vending machines will prove my stance.

These days, artificial intelligence powered automatic cash machines have replaced clerical man power of banks. For example, in past, clerics in banks used to process cheques and transact money to customers. Now, the process is wholly and perfectly taken by robotic machines with added advantage of round the clock service. Since the automatic machines are quick, cheap and perfect in service, clerics are no more employed to the service. Hence, it is clear that the artificial intelligence based robots are taking human jobs.

Vending machines are second strong example of how robots are replacing shopkeepers. In past, cashiers used to collect money and give products to customers. Now, automatic vending machines have replaced the human as these are more perfect, accurate and cheaper. Hence it is clear that the artificial intelligence based robots are taking human jobs.

Analyzing both the applications of automatic banking machines and artificial intelligent vending machines, it is clear that robots are replacing the human in jobs market. It is recommended that Government should enhance skills of people to the level that they could survive to robotics era for decades.

[saqibali]

Anyone to help ?