Some people think that the best way to learn about business is to study a course at college or university. Others believe that there are other better ways to learn about business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Doing business has become very popular nowadays and most of the young generation tends to do business. People like to work for themselves Rather than work for others and help them to convert their dreams in reality. Many have opinion to take abundant of knowledge from universities than jump into the business while other people, like me, think people can learn the business by doing it not by gatting theoretical knowledge of business.
Formal education is essential for getting knowledge about concept of every business. There are many reputed institutes which give fundamental knowledge of business. These institutes learn from success story of current and former businessmen. This knowledge makes students sharpen not only in management skills but also in other aspects like human behavior, risk-reward ratio, and forecasting of business strategy. Indian Institute of management, for instant, 95% of students form this management college become successful businessmen. So, management skills which are learned in college make a man of success.
Although management skills learned in universities help to prosper a business, it is difficult to convert this theoretical knowledge in practical business. Business skills are learnt only by doing business. Despite having many obstacles the businessmen who find a way to overcome all the hurdles and become successful is the one whose business last forever and make profit. Doing business is not applying the idea of others, which usually is learned in universities, it is doing something innovative and innovation does not require formal education. Dhirubhai Ambani, an Indian businessman, did not pass even fifth class still he became the richest person in India. There are many such examples which indicate education is not an essential requirement to become a businessman.
In conclusion, success of a business is depend on applying practical aspects and learning from mistakes which are gradually developed by doing business.It does not develop spontaneously by completing two or three years of university examination.
Task 2 writing
Re: Task 2 writing
hey...
As a fellow learner, here are my 2 cents on your essay.
please note that this is not a professional evaluation.
your introductory paragraph takes a stance which is good but there are some grammatical errors. The structuring of sentences are a little off too. the body of the essay has some structural anomalies but it does get the message across. I have pointed out as many mistakes as I can. Also the vocabulary range is not very broad ( the repetitive usage of words like business and knowledge ).your conclusion is concise and to the point. You can read the edited version below. In my point of view this would give you a maximum of 6.0 band as there is a lot of room for improvement.
Doing business has become very popular nowadays and most of the young generation tends to do business. People like to work for themselves rather than work for others WHICH HELPS them to convert their dreams in TO reality. Many have AN opinion to take abundant (REMOVE OF) knowledge from universities THEN jump into business while OTHERS like me ARE OF THE VIEW THAT people can learn business by doing it AND not JUST BY GETTING theoretical knowledge of business.
Formal education is essential for LEARNING about CONCEPTS of every business. There are many reputed institutes PROVIDING fundamental knowledge REQUIRED TO RUN A business. These institutes learn from success STORIES of current and former businessmen. This knowledge NOT ONLY SHARPENS A STUDENT IN management skills, but also in other aspects like human behavior, risk-reward ratio, and forecasting of business strategy. TAKE Indian Institute of management for INSTANCE, 95% of students FROM this management college BECAME successful businessmen. So, management skills which are learned in college DO MAKE MEN of success.
Although, management skills learned in universities help BUSINESSES TO PROSPER, it is STILL difficult to convert this theoretical knowledge in practical business. Business skills are ACQUIRED only by doing business. Despite having many obstacles, the businessmen who overcome all the hurdles and become successful is the one whose business LASTS forever and IS PROFITABLE IN THE LONGRUN. Doing business is not applying the idea of others, which IS usually TAUGHT in universities, RATHER it is doing something innovative and innovation does not require formal education. Dhirubhai Ambani, an Indian businessman, did not EVEN CLEAR HIS PRIMARY EDUCATION YET he STILL became the richest person in India. There are many such examples which indicate education is not an essential requirement to become a businessman.
In conclusion, success of a business is DEPENDENT on applying practical aspects and learning from mistakes which gradually develop by doing business. THEY DONOT develop spontaneously by completing two or three years of university examination.
As a fellow learner, here are my 2 cents on your essay.
please note that this is not a professional evaluation.
your introductory paragraph takes a stance which is good but there are some grammatical errors. The structuring of sentences are a little off too. the body of the essay has some structural anomalies but it does get the message across. I have pointed out as many mistakes as I can. Also the vocabulary range is not very broad ( the repetitive usage of words like business and knowledge ).your conclusion is concise and to the point. You can read the edited version below. In my point of view this would give you a maximum of 6.0 band as there is a lot of room for improvement.
Doing business has become very popular nowadays and most of the young generation tends to do business. People like to work for themselves rather than work for others WHICH HELPS them to convert their dreams in TO reality. Many have AN opinion to take abundant (REMOVE OF) knowledge from universities THEN jump into business while OTHERS like me ARE OF THE VIEW THAT people can learn business by doing it AND not JUST BY GETTING theoretical knowledge of business.
Formal education is essential for LEARNING about CONCEPTS of every business. There are many reputed institutes PROVIDING fundamental knowledge REQUIRED TO RUN A business. These institutes learn from success STORIES of current and former businessmen. This knowledge NOT ONLY SHARPENS A STUDENT IN management skills, but also in other aspects like human behavior, risk-reward ratio, and forecasting of business strategy. TAKE Indian Institute of management for INSTANCE, 95% of students FROM this management college BECAME successful businessmen. So, management skills which are learned in college DO MAKE MEN of success.
Although, management skills learned in universities help BUSINESSES TO PROSPER, it is STILL difficult to convert this theoretical knowledge in practical business. Business skills are ACQUIRED only by doing business. Despite having many obstacles, the businessmen who overcome all the hurdles and become successful is the one whose business LASTS forever and IS PROFITABLE IN THE LONGRUN. Doing business is not applying the idea of others, which IS usually TAUGHT in universities, RATHER it is doing something innovative and innovation does not require formal education. Dhirubhai Ambani, an Indian businessman, did not EVEN CLEAR HIS PRIMARY EDUCATION YET he STILL became the richest person in India. There are many such examples which indicate education is not an essential requirement to become a businessman.
In conclusion, success of a business is DEPENDENT on applying practical aspects and learning from mistakes which gradually develop by doing business. THEY DONOT develop spontaneously by completing two or three years of university examination.
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Re: Task 2 writing
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Thanks for your submission ppatelronak!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
Doing business has become very popular nowadays and MANY YOUNGER PEOPLE ASPIRE TO BE BUSINESS PEOPLE (don't repeat 'business' as a noun). People like to work for themselves rather (small 'r') than work for others and help them (who is them? People or others?) to convert their dreams inTO reality. Many ARE OF THE opinion THAT IT IS BETTER to STUDY universities RATHER than jump STRAIGHT into (delete 'the') business, while other people, like me, think IT IS BETTER TO learn (delete 'the') business by doing (RATHER THEN THROUGH theoretical knowledge.)
B1:
Formal education is essential for getting knowledge about business CONCEPTS. There are many reputed institutes which TEACH THE fundamental business KNOWLEDGE. These institutes learn from THE success storIES of current and former businessmen. This knowledge makes students sharpeR not only in management skills (or SHARPEN NOT ONLY THEIR MANAGEMENT SKILLS) but also in other aspects like human behavior, risk-reward ratio, and THE forecasting of business strategy. AT THE Indian Institute of Management, for INSTANCE, 95% of students FROM this management college become successful businessmen. So, management skills which are learned in college EVENTUALLY LEAD TO SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PEOPLE.
B2:
Although management skills learned in universities help a business TO PROSPER, it is difficult to convert this theoretical knowledge inTO practical business ACUMEN; (use a semi-colon sometimes) business skills are learnt only by doing business. Despite having many obstacles the businessmen who find a way to overcome all the hurdles and become successful ARE the oneS whose businessES last forever and make HEALTHY profit. Doing business is not ABOUT applying the ideaS of others, which usually is learned in universities, BUT RATHER ABOUT (no need to repeat the subject 'doing business' as a pronoun - delete "it') doing something innovative WHICH does not require formal education. FOR INSTANCE, Dhirubhai Ambani, an Indian businessman, did not EVEN pass fifth class BUT HE still MANAGED TO becOme the richest person in India. There are many such examples which indicate education is not an essential requirement to become a businessman.
CONC:
In conclusion, success IN business dependS on applying THE practical aspects OF BUSINESS and learning from ONE'S mistakes. THESE SKILLS ARE developed GRADUALLY by ACTUALLY doing business. THEY do not develop spontaneously by completing two or three years of university examination.
Advice:
1.There were many times when it would have been better to use 'business' as an adjective, not a noun.
2. Use semi-colons instead of conjunctions like 'and', 'but', so'. This makes the punctuation more interesting. But only do it ONCE per essay.
3. 'EVEN' before the main verb, not after
Good try!! Keep it up
TA: 7.0
G: 5.5
V: 6.0
CC: 5.5 (nothing in B1)
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Thanks for your submission ppatelronak!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
Doing business has become very popular nowadays and MANY YOUNGER PEOPLE ASPIRE TO BE BUSINESS PEOPLE (don't repeat 'business' as a noun). People like to work for themselves rather (small 'r') than work for others and help them (who is them? People or others?) to convert their dreams inTO reality. Many ARE OF THE opinion THAT IT IS BETTER to STUDY universities RATHER than jump STRAIGHT into (delete 'the') business, while other people, like me, think IT IS BETTER TO learn (delete 'the') business by doing (RATHER THEN THROUGH theoretical knowledge.)
B1:
Formal education is essential for getting knowledge about business CONCEPTS. There are many reputed institutes which TEACH THE fundamental business KNOWLEDGE. These institutes learn from THE success storIES of current and former businessmen. This knowledge makes students sharpeR not only in management skills (or SHARPEN NOT ONLY THEIR MANAGEMENT SKILLS) but also in other aspects like human behavior, risk-reward ratio, and THE forecasting of business strategy. AT THE Indian Institute of Management, for INSTANCE, 95% of students FROM this management college become successful businessmen. So, management skills which are learned in college EVENTUALLY LEAD TO SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PEOPLE.
B2:
Although management skills learned in universities help a business TO PROSPER, it is difficult to convert this theoretical knowledge inTO practical business ACUMEN; (use a semi-colon sometimes) business skills are learnt only by doing business. Despite having many obstacles the businessmen who find a way to overcome all the hurdles and become successful ARE the oneS whose businessES last forever and make HEALTHY profit. Doing business is not ABOUT applying the ideaS of others, which usually is learned in universities, BUT RATHER ABOUT (no need to repeat the subject 'doing business' as a pronoun - delete "it') doing something innovative WHICH does not require formal education. FOR INSTANCE, Dhirubhai Ambani, an Indian businessman, did not EVEN pass fifth class BUT HE still MANAGED TO becOme the richest person in India. There are many such examples which indicate education is not an essential requirement to become a businessman.
CONC:
In conclusion, success IN business dependS on applying THE practical aspects OF BUSINESS and learning from ONE'S mistakes. THESE SKILLS ARE developed GRADUALLY by ACTUALLY doing business. THEY do not develop spontaneously by completing two or three years of university examination.
Advice:
1.There were many times when it would have been better to use 'business' as an adjective, not a noun.
2. Use semi-colons instead of conjunctions like 'and', 'but', so'. This makes the punctuation more interesting. But only do it ONCE per essay.
3. 'EVEN' before the main verb, not after
Good try!! Keep it up
TA: 7.0
G: 5.5
V: 6.0
CC: 5.5 (nothing in B1)
