Task 2 print media will disappear. Please evaluate!

[Twinkle]

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is predicted that printed magazines and books will become obsolete in the coming years, and everyone will use cost free digital platforms as a source of their information. I, however, completely disagree, I think that there will always be book lovers who would want to read physical books, and for the mere survival of publishing agencies and journalism itself, books and print media will never be available completely free of charge.

To begin with, paper books will always hold their value for some people. Even though the digital platform's popularity is astounding, still the demand for paper books will always be there among select individuals; such as students who rely on textbooks, other people who love to hold physical books in their hands, and then those who worry about eye strain of using devices. To elaborate further, when e-book readers had launched into the market, many experts predicted a fall in paperback book sales and it did initially, but then it has been plateaued. Now, both print and digital books have their own market.

Secondly, funds are required to maintain the quality of written material that is only possible if authors and publishers are paid for their material. They work diligently, sometimes, even years of hard work is put into a single book and it is always fair for them to ask a certain amount in return. While the illegal distribution of books and online content have raised concerns about copyright infringement, many agencies are working to stop piracy. It is expected in the future, more laws will be put into place, so that people would only be able to buy legal copies.

To conclude, despite the popularity of digital content, I think print media will keep its usefulness among its loyal users. Furthermore, copyright laws will be tightened to prevent the spread of pirated copies, so that authors and publishers can receive monetary incentives for their work.

[goldcoastielts]

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Thanks for your submission twinkle!! Please see my rewrite below ...

INTRO:
IT HAS BEEN predicted that printed magazines and books will become obsolete in the coming years, and THAT everyone will BE USING (present continuous for future) cost-free (add hyphen) digital platforms as a source of (delete 'their') information. I, however, completely disagree, I think that there will always be book lovers who (delete 'would want to') read physical books, and for the VERY survival of publishing agencies and journalism itself, books and print media will never be available completely free of charge.

B1:
To begin with, paper books will always hold their value for some people. Even though the digital platform's popularity .. POPULARITY OF DIGITAL PLATFORMS is astounding, still the demand for paper books will always be there among select individuals such (';' and 'such as' have the same meaning) as students who rely on textbooks, other people who love to hold physical books in their hands, and ALSO those who worry about eye strain FROM using devices. To elaborate further, when e-book readers had launched into the market, many experts predicted a fall in paperback book sales and THIS did initially HAPPEN, but it has SINCE plateaued. Now, both print and digital books have their own marketS.

B2:
Secondly, funds are required to maintain the quality of written material AND that is only possible if authors and publishers are paid for their material (maybe 'the material they produce'. will be better). They work diligently, AND sometimes, even years of hard work is put into a single book and it is always fair for them to ask a certain amount OF COMPENSATION in return. While the illegal distribution of books and online content have raised concerns about copyright infringement, many agencies are NOW working to stop piracy, AND it is expected THAT in the future, more laws will be put into place (delete comma here) so that people WILL only be able to buy legal copies.

CONC:
To conclude, despite the popularity of digital content, I think print media will keep its usefulness among its MOST loyal users. Furthermore, copyright laws will be tightened to prevent the spread of pirated copies, so that authors and publishers WILL BE ABLE TO receive monetary incentives for their work.



The structure of this essay is awesome! You just need to polish the smaller things now so that your essays read smoothly.

Advice:
1. I think in the topic sentence of your B1 you tried to use the "connecting phrase + subject + claim" structure. You just made a little mistake because you needed to add 'and'
2. Look closely at the corrections I made regarding modal verbs and also little connecting words like conjunctions.
3. Be careful about those noun phrases. It is usually better to use ("noun of noun" = popularity of digital platforms) rather than ("noun's + noun" = digital platform's popularity)

Band-score:
TA: 8.0
G: 7.0
V: 7.5
CC: 7.0 (try not to overuse the same connectors like "so that")