Academic writing task 2 - please score

[konspara96]

Essay question: Many believe that there should be laws that would force people to recycle their home wastes
To what extent do you agree or disagree

In today’s societies, the environment has undergone a tremendous exploitation of its natural resources. So, there is a substantial proportion of people who are advocates of the fact that governments should enforce laws to mandate recycling in order to increase people’s attitudes towards it and decrease the waste that is thrown away from households without recycling. I truly believe that legislating such laws will probably not have the expected results as many think. This will be shown by analyzing the educational factors and mental related issues it may bring about.

To start with, a crucial element and factor that could potentially play a role in developing recycling attitudes are school and family. Although laws can obligate people to recycle their home waste; however, it would be wiser to add new school subjects focusing on the ecosystem and the positive effects of recycling, as well as families should become more aware and impart environmentally friendly habits to their offsprings. Therefore, if this occurs in childhood, then children will definitely been brought up and when become adults, they will engage themselves into acts of recycling such as paper, plastic or glass recycling. Overall, in long term, these will have certain positive impact rather than laws themselves.

Another point that refutes that claim is the possible negative effect it will have on the psychological sphere of an individual. For example, it has been noticed in the COVID-19 pandemic that by making vaccination programmes mandatory, it has led to serious issues including manifestation of depression and other mental diseases. This was of course due to the fact that people should have the right to choose what to do if their deeds will not affect other people’s lives or be criminal actions. That being said, by leaving people on their own could have better overall long term results.

In summary, even though laws are extremely significant and also fundamental for the welfare of a society, it is obvious that on certain occassions they are not effective and practical. On the other hand, social norms that could be transmitted by schools and families can become a more prudent approach to stem the issue of waste recycling.

[locky72]

Hi Konspara96,

I have had a look at your essay and overall it is a strong essay. You have demonstrated a wide range of vocabulary, the paragraphing is appropriate, and there is an effective use of connective/ linking phrases/ discourse markers. You also try to link/compare mandatory vaccinations with the idea of compulsory recycling. You also make a great point that education through schools and families is a better way to promote/ encourage recycling than by making laws. This shows that you have thought deeply about the topic and makes your essay more interesting. There are some minor expression/ language errors but the ideas are still easy to follow.

The one area I would draw your attention to is the way you express your opinion/ attempt to answer the question.

I truly believe that legislating such laws will probably not have the expected results as many think. This isn't really answering the question.

The question is -'To what extent do you agree or disagree that there should be laws forcing people to recycle home waste?'

The better way to answer the question would be- 'I strongly disagree that there should be laws forcing people to recycle home waste.' or 'I somewhat disagree there should be laws forcing people to recycle home waste.' The best strategy is to answer the question directly.

I hope this is helpful.

cheers

Locky

[locky72]