guys, today's test question

[durai]

task 1:

You have a plan to go holiday. you friend you would like to with.

write a letter him

explain why you need an holiday
what;s your holiday plan
why you want your frind to go with you

task :

Today,too much noises on the public places.

what are the causes and waht can we do about this.


i wrote:

causes:

chidren is one of the causes
because they unaware of how to be polite in public places
gave example, how ausytralian children behave at trains -talking loudly to disturb others


solution:

need to be educated and should be taught how to polite at common places, need to show them what is right and wrong,

gave example India, many private agencies and parents educating children being polite, don't make noises in public places.


couldn't think of any valuable reason at that time.

reading and listening was very easy with idp, could reach 9 in reading and 8.5 in listening.

anyway my result will be in 13 days, I say 'good luck' myself.

[rairaichan0323]

thank you for ur sharing and gd luck for ur exam

[mhingz]

thanks for sharing..

ps
it would be best if you recheck everything you write before you post as some of your text are mixed up.

[allen_zhang]

Hi guys，

Let disscuss about this T2 topic.

What's your understanding about the question? I am confused. Is it talking about the noise made by people around you or it also include other noises like industrial noise and transportation noise?

If it just means the noise made by other people, who should we blame? I really do not want blame kids....

[allen_zhang]

maybe I will choose to blame:

1, mobile phone users.

2, Too many Chinese? Just a joke, I am a Chinese...

[AhmadMukhtiar]

The topic was too confusing ... I think it didn't talk about people. It mentioned ''too much noise in public places'' ... I wrote about some public places like markets, why they are noisy, and what can be done ... with a cause and effect strategy ... Dnt knw if it was the right way ... Not fully satisfied

[AhmadMukhtiar]

It would be better if Ryan could describe it in detail because everyone has written in contrasting ways...

[Ryan]

Thanks for sharing the experience, Durai.

Let me clean up the question a little bit:

There is too much noise in public places today. What are the causes? What can be done about it?

Durai, was there an additional background sentence to help frame the question? The wording here makes it sound a little presumptuous in that it assumes all public places are too noisy. Were any details shared outlining what kind of noise is being referred to or who is bothered by the noise? Was there any mention of what kind of public places we are talking about? Did the question frame the problem as one that is getting worse?

There are several approaches that could be taken to respond to this question. I think your structure (one paragraph arguing the main cause; one paragraph proposing a comprehensive solution) is fine. You also share an example of a solution that has worked for the same problem elsewhere, which is a very healthy way of demonstrating to your reader the plausible nature of your suggestion. However, I hope you described the agency example clearly. Your examiner may not be familiar with agencies that focus entirely on promoting courtesy among children.

Just to offer an alternative, it would be possible to couple causes and solutions together into supporting paragraphs. Here is a quick example (I'll stick loosely to your original line of thinking):

The most major cause of noise in public places tends to be poorly behaved children. This can be seen in action when travelling via Sydney public transit, as many mothers exert little control over the volume of their kids. To counter this issue, parents and primary schools should commit themselves to instilling young people with respect for others. As such practices have proven effective in Indian communities, it is clear that education could be the key to lessening noise levels in public places.

If I were to respond to this question, I would likely talk about the noise pollution that results from increasing traffic levels. In doing this, I could pull in the subject of city planning and tie in clear examples of solutions that have worked for well known cities around the world. (I'm not saying this approach is any better than your focus on noisy children. It is simply the spin I would put on the response.)

Hope the above helps,
Ryan

[yhjsaber]

My version

It is true that the ever increasing noise level in many modern cities is causing more serious problem to residents’ life. There are several factors contributing to this trend and various measures could be taken by individuals and governments to improve the situation.

The foremost reason for this trend is the tendency of city dwellers to utilise private cars to commute to work or travel around. With various types of high-pitched noises, which derives from engines and tires of road vehicles, occupying the environment, people living in urban areas find it difficult to ease their pressure and relax their mind. In addition, the industrial activities that take place in many metropolises also play a major role in promoting the noise level. People often feel extremely uncomfortable to withstand the noises produced by heavy machineries operating in many factories. As seen above, the uncontrolled use of private cars and frequent industrial activities are two main factors that result in the unbearable noises in major cities.

However, I would suggest that the above problem could be effectively tackled with by utilising the combined efforts of social members and authorities. Firstly, governments can encourage the use of public transport through improving its efficiency and affordability, making it more attractive to people. Take my city as an example, buses and trains powered by quiet electrical motors are made more convenient and cheaper to use than private cars. As a result, the purchase of automobiles has reduced significantly, and consequently the noise level in the streets is substantially decreased. Also, the efforts of individual to make full use of public transport are of great importance. Parents and teachers should instil children with the notion that public transport is more beneficial to noise regulation as well as environment protection, while adults should take tangible actions in an attempt to set a good example for the younger generation. Finally, subsidises could be offered to manufacturers who are willing to improve their production lines with noise reduction technology or to relocate their factories to suburban areas, with the view to restricting noisy industrial activities in city areas.

In conclusion, the detrimental noises in urban regions are the result of the prevalence of personal vehicles and the unregulated industrial activities. Only with the aggregated power of individuals and governments can this problem be effectively dealt with.

[durai]

Hi Ryan,

Thanks for your reply,

I am pretty sure there were no other wordings , that was the reason I spent about 7 minutes in thinking on different angles, and time was running out, so I chose children because I know some personal examples. such when I travel in metro train in Melbourne, many teenagers were shouting and disturbing others.

Its not actually agency I wrote in my essay but the "public sector"

I chose to dedicate one paragraph to causes and another to solutions because I am not sure about grammar in that way.

Anyway, its only 12 days , all surprises would come out.

Durai

[vipin]

Dear Jim,

I hope that you are well. I am writing to update you on my holiday plan this summer.

As you are already aware, I was keeping a hectic schedule at work lately in order to meet a stringent deadline for a big project that we had to deliver for a global corporation. I had been working late nights and weekends without a break for the past three months. Thankfully, we were able to deliver without any issues.

I plan to travel to the Himachal in July. The onward journey will be via train and the backward via flight. It will be a fifteen day tour, commencing on the 1st and ending on the 15th. I recall from our discussion last month that you are equally keen on visiting the place. We have taken many journeys together and are comfortable traveling together; I suggest you join me again this time around. We can also catch up with each other during the trip, something which we couldn’t off late due to our busy schedules.

Hoping to hear from you soon,

ABC

[allen_zhang]

It is true that the ever increasing noise level in many modern cities is causing more serious problem to residents’ life. There are several factors contributing to this trend and various measures could be taken by individuals and governments to improve the situation.

The foremost reason for this trend is the tendency of city dwellers to utilise private cars to commute to work or travel around. With various types of high-pitched noises, which derives from engines and tires of road vehicles, occupying the environment, people living in urban areas find it difficult to ease their pressure and relax their mind. In addition, the industrial activities that take place in many metropolises also play a major role in promoting the noise level. People often feel extremely uncomfortable to withstand the noises produced by heavy machineries operating in many factories. As seen above, the uncontrolled use of private cars and frequent industrial activities are two main factors that result in the unbearable noises in major cities.

However, I would suggest that the above problem could be effectively tackled with by utilising the combined efforts of social members and authorities. Firstly, governments can encourage the use of public transport through improving its efficiency and affordability, making it more attractive to people. Take my city as an example, buses and trains powered by quiet electrical motors are made more convenient and cheaper to use than private cars. As a result, the purchase of automobiles has reduced significantly, and consequently the noise level in the streets is substantially decreased. Also, the efforts of individual to make full use of public transport are of great importance. Parents and teachers should instil children with the notion that public transport is more beneficial to noise regulation as well as environment protection, while adults should take tangible actions in an attempt to set a good example for the younger generation. Finally, subsidises could be offered to manufacturers who are willing to improve their production lines with noise reduction technology or to relocate their factories to suburban areas, with the view to restricting noisy industrial activities in city areas.

In conclusion, the detrimental noises in urban regions are the result of the prevalence of personal vehicles and the unregulated industrial activities. Only with the aggregated power of individuals and governments can this problem be effectively dealt with.

HI yhjsaber,
Again, I just want to disscuss something about your essay and maybe something deeper into how to write an IELTS essay, which confuses me.

It is true that the ever increasing noise level in many modern cities is causing more serious problem to residents’ life

personally, I feel "noise pollution" issue is not so serious. I would say:"City residents often/(tend to) suffer from noise pollution wich is caused by ...".

improve the situation.

Personally, I perfer "mitigate this problem"

The foremost reason for this trend is the tendency of city dwellers to utilise private cars to commute to work or travel around.

This sentence is what I really want to talk about:
I know that you showed words "tendency", "dweller" , "utlisie" , "commute" and "travel around", and it seems grammatically correct. However, personally, I feel it is not neat and direct enough. I would say : "one important contributing factor is the traffic noise. There are more and more vehicles on the roads creating disturbing sounds by starting the engines, blowing of horns, playing music from car amplifier and so on. As a result, the city has now become exposed from these types of unavoidable and uncontrollable noise."

With various types of high-pitched noises, which derives from engines and tires of road vehicles, occupying the environment, people living in urban areas find it difficult to ease their pressure and relax their mind

Personally, I feel that this sentence focuses on "problem", but not "cause".

My major concern about this T2 question is that I still feel that it is not about "noise pollution", but "noise caused by people in public places like: restaurants, hotel lobbies, bars, librarys,public transportation system".

[yhjsaber]

Hi Allen,

Thanks for your comments, I was also confued by this question. My thoughts were if you were not to talk about the problems noises cause, how could you find appropriate solutions to these problems. I initially wanted to discuss about the causes only. However, without mentioning the problems it causes to people's life, it is not persuasive for you to just come up with solutions that tackle these problems.

Those sentences you mentioned depict my ways of using high level words as well as complex sentences, I guess different people have different ways.

[yhjsaber]

And I reckon that we should focus on only one of two facets in the public sectors.

[mhingz]

The most major cause of noise in public places tends to be poorly behaved children. This can be seen in action when travelling via Sydney public transit, as many mothers exert little control over the volume of their kids. To counter this issue, parents and primary schools should commit themselves to instilling young people with respect for others. As such practices have proven effective in Indian communities, it is clear that education could be the key to lessening noise levels in public places.

thanks ryan!
this is an excellent example of combining cause and effect/solution in one paragraph.