Writing IE task 2

[lethithuhuong]

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friens or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
This is my answer:
Nowadays more and more people are choosing to live with firends or alone rather than live with their family. Around this trend have so many different views, some people think that it can take a negative impact to comminities, the others have an opposite opinion that it take positive impact to community. In my oppinion, it consist both negative and positive impact to our community.
Why this trend take a negative impact to communities?
Firstly, person who lives with frend or alone is more easy to overload or stress than person who lives with family. That is why so many people suiceded when they were stucking in thier problems. Because family plays an important role not only in remain the development of society but olso keeps this society in order, it balance everybody's life and service mental needs. So who is not live with family is usually don't know how to get out of thier circutances to get up. Intead of finding somehelp from their familly or relatives they choose a dead desision to solve their problems.
Secondly, when people move out to live with friend , their relationship with members in their familly become colder, they don't have enought time to communicate with members in family, even they can't see each other in a long time. Gruadlly, they don't care for their parents, isters or brothers, they are only forcuss on their life. That's why old people have to go to hospital to live with no childrent, grantchildren.
Thirdly, person who live alone is usually have more hamful acts than person who live with family, because they don't need to rely on their parent, they have their life and don't care about their responsibility with family so they do things they wnat even it is a bad thing, for example use drug, smork,... sometime they have some violent acts such as steal, muder, hijact,,.. Because family don't ive with they so they can't give they good advises or force they do dood things. This is effected in great deal to our community.
On the other hand, if people live with friends or alon they will become more independent and confident because they have to everything by theirselve from cookin to earn money and manage their life without assistance from their family, they don't need depend on their parents and self- control in every sistuations.
Beside, if people live alon they don't need to face with conficts which usually happen between childrent with parents, or among members in family. Living alone they can developt their self- styled, creat new things and do things they love
More futher, when people move out to live alone they may need so many new thing which service to their like such as: bed, chairs, table, pans,...This mean it can make a positive change to our economic.
Summarily, live alone or with friends will make both negative and positive impact to communities, but the negative impact seems more important to our community than the other. Although it contain some benefits but it's effect is so serious.

[durai]

Hi,

I feel this is essay would be more than 500 words, please write around 280 words ( my recommendation)

anyway, because of your too many word counts, you repeated many individual words,

live 11
family 10
people 8
more 7
alone 6
impact 6
negative 5

as I had gone through essay quickly, I felt it would demonstrate band 5.5 ( only on my POV)