Essay Task 2 : Role of Education

[Guru]

Some say the role of education is fulfillment of personal goals while others say it's for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Human beings had realized the importance of education eons ago. Education serves to empower the masses and brings individuals out of penury and also enriches their intellectual ideas which can be further used for the betterment of humankind. We shall discuss both sides of the argument before arriving at an informed personal opinion.

Firstly, education empowers the people by making them more learned, sharp and knowledgeable. It instills them with a lot of self confidence and a high self esteem which makes them capable enough to acquire skills to earn personal wealth and happiness. For example, students passing out of graduate schools acquire cutting edge technology and management know-how which they demonstrate to top multinational companies to land up with high paying salaries. So we can see that education is the cornerstone of success which individuals can utilize to grow in life personally and professionally.

Secondly, proper teaching instruction imparted to individuals at school and college allows them to become top notch scientists, economists and politicians who contribute towards the advancement of human race. Many path breaking innovations and scientific discoveries have transformed the lives of the human civilization, for instance, the advancement of medical science brought about so many new inventions of drugs which helped eradicate diseases like Small pox and Polio entirely or from some countries of the world. It is obvious that education has resulted in uplifting the society.

To sum up, in my opinion education not only helps accomplish personal human goals but also helps improve the state of our society. Making highly skilled people and advancement of science are direct results of imparting education.

[MonsterProofReader]

The correction is attached to this post.

[Guru]

I corrected this but Ryan needs to get it to you.

Hi MonsterProofReader,

I don't see the corrections. Did you submit the corrections made?

[MonsterProofReader]

Yes, you need to ask the moderator, Ryan, for them, because I cannot get them to you for some reason on this format...this site doesn't allow docx (Word) type documents to be uploaded.

Leena

[Guru]

Yes, you need to ask the moderator, Ryan, for them, because I cannot get them to you for some reason on this format...this site doesn't allow docx (Word) type documents to be uploaded.

Leena

Hi Leena,

Thank you for taking your precious time out and providing some valuable comments. They're much appreciated.

I see that the tense of the first sentence put my essay on the back foot.

How about if i remove the first sentence entirely - on a second look it seems redundant to me. Then the remaining essay would not require to be operated on. I've added a new sentence along with your suggested modifications to make the word count go beyond 250+. I hope this should be good enough.

Thank you once again!

Here's my corrected essay with 274 words.

Education serves to empower the masses and brings individuals out of penury. It also enriches their intellectual ideas which can further serve for the betterment of humankind. We shall discuss both sides of the argument before arriving at an informed, personal opinion.

First, education empowers the people by making them more learned, skilled and knowledgeable. It instills in them a lot of confidence and self esteem which enables them to earn personal wealth and happiness. For example, students passing out of graduate schools acquire cutting edge technology and management know-how which they demonstrate within top multinational companies, thus earning several accolades and high-paying salaries. We can see that education is one of the cornerstones of success which individuals can utilize to grow in life, personally and professionally.

Second, proper teaching instruction imparted to individuals at school and college allows them to become top notch scientists, economists and politicians who contribute towards the advancement of human race. Many path-breaking innovations and scientific discoveries have transformed the lives of several human beings; for instance, the advancement of medical science brought about so many new inventions of drugs which helped eradicate diseases like Small pox and Polio. In addition,technology research and study brought about the Internet revolution that ushered in an era of Information exchange enabling people throughout the world to interact with each other with just a click of a button. It is obvious that education has resulted in uplifting the society.

In summation, education not only helps accomplish personal human goals but also continues to help improve the state of our society. Creating highly skilled people and advancing science are direct results of imparting education.