Letter of a recent topic

[yhjsaber]

You have a plan to go on a holiday and You have a friend that you want to go with.
Write a letter to him and explain,
Why you need a holiday?
What’s your holiday plan?
Why you want your friend to go with you?

Dear Derrick,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am glad we have finally come to the point where we can conclude our undergraduate study.
I have to say that the last year has been quite a tough time for us-working crazily hard to finish our dissertation before the deadline. Fortunately, every effort is paid off as both of us received a satisfactory transcript.
To celebrate this milestone and with the view to fully recuperating ourselves from the intense study, I am planning a trip to the Great Ocean Road where we could enjoy the most beautiful landscapes in Australia. This means we are going to rent a nice car and drive on the famous road with fabulously gorgeous views. In addition, one of my seniors recommended me to start the trip around mid-May. He said that if we were able to spend five days there in this period of time, we would be experiencing the amazing feelings of living in four different seasons, which motivates me even more to go on this trip.
Therefore, as I deliberately use “we” in this letter, I urge you to come with me on 15th of May because I believe that enjoying each other’s company on a fantastic trip like this is the best way for us to relax and have great full.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
Your buddy,
Carlen

[allen_zhang]

yhjsaber,
A general impression on this letter( I may be wrong ):
Trying to use complicated sentences weakens the "tone" of this letter.

I would not use "in addition" and "therefore" in an informal letter.

Just my personal understanding and I haven't look into it very carefully.

[yhjsaber]

It is because I wrote too many task 2 essays .

[saqibali]

Please comment

Dear friend,

I was nice to meet you last night.I really enjoyed my gathering with you.

As you know, we have been harking too hard in last three months for our final thesis, which, fortunately have been successful accepted.The hard work, although brought many positive changes inside us, have made us tired.As a result of this struggle and continuous pressure, I feel we are not in position to work for next semester with same zealous.As a compensation, I suggest have a joint entertainment plan.For this purpose, we need to have a two days break from our work.

Since we have been working in a too closed environment so for the refreshment, I would suggest the greenery area of city outskirts.These days, these areas are full of foreign visitors who adds to the entertainment sense of this place.As per weather forecast, this area is supposed to provide with the best weather in next week,


We have worked together and this together time have made us strong friends.Sine we have developed a good chemistry so I would suggest you go along with me.

Waiting your positive reply,


Sincerely yours,

Saqib

[saqibali]

Anyone who can
Spot the grammer mistakes?
Challenge my task achievement?
Challenge my Understanding?
Suggest better variety of words and phrases?
Suggest better cohesion?
Suggest better sentences and words?