The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in

[sophiapadathiruthy]

please post your comments

The teenage crimes have been increased recently. This worldwide problem has been gone up due to so many reasons. This essay discuss about the possible causes of and the solutions for teenage offences.
Firstly, lack of parental control is the vital reason for the teenage crime. It means when parents does not have enough time to spend with their children which leads the children to go and mingle with their peer group those who are addicted to bad habits. For example teenager without his parent’s supervision steals money to buy alcohol.
In addition to this, boredom can also affect a teenager which may result in a crime. It happens when a teenager left without anything to do particularly or they are not interested to do something usual. Then the emotional state being affected and the teenager could end up in doing offences. For instance, those who are not interested in their routine activities may try something else to become a hero among their group.
On the other hand there are many possible ways to minimize the teenage crimes. First of all, the parents should give enough time to interact with their children. By giving an idea about the importance of values in life will make them to lead their life in a guided way. Secondly, teenagers should given some tasks in their life. Such as look after the pets, helping in the household work can help to increase the responsibility of the teenager and it also aids in helping them to be active all the time.
To conclude by reducing the causes will help to prevent the occurrence of teenage crimes.

[Ryan]

Hi Sophia,

A couple of very quick thoughts:

1. Please post the essay question. It's difficult to assess you for Task Achievement when the task is unknown.

2. Your grammar is in need of serious improvement. Consider having an English speaking friend or colleague do grammatical cleanups on your writing from time to time to point out exactly what to do here.

3. I think you put forth strong suggestions regarding how to improve the issue of adolescent crime (assuming this is what the essay question is asking). However, I find some of the examples a little ambiguous. I also feel you could have done more to discuss them to show how they link to the theme of the essay. Examples make terrible final sentences to supporting paragraphs. Don't present an example and assume the reader is going to make the logical connection to essay theme for you.

I hope that gives you some actionable advice you can act upon. Good luck!

[sophiapadathiruthy]

thank you Ryan