TOPIC:
“Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to more school work .How do you think people should spend their free time?
Certainly, education builds the foundation of a child character. Therefore, most of the time should be devoted to school work. Yet, sports and other recreational activities are important as well for building a sound mind and a sound body. I am strongly in favor of giving chi9ldren free time of their own choice rather than doing extra school work.
There are many points, to support the above concept of giving children free time of their choice. Majorly, the school work alone, is not sufficient in setting a strong foundation of a child’s behavior. In free time, a child gets an opportunity to sit with elders and listen to their wise talks. Most of the time there is a precious moral lesson in old people like grandmother and grandfather stories. A child can learn a lot more than learn a lot more from these real stories told by his or her elders. Secondly games and sports are very essential for the physical and mental fitness of a child’s body. There is a sound mind in a sound body”. So, a child can concentrate more in studies if a healthy body by taking part in sports competition. Sports not only give the sense of competition but also encourage a child to accept defeat. Games broaden the child vision that there is no end and no failure after losing a single game.
Lastly, recreational activities like video games, visits to friends and relatives, or to any beautiful sight refresh the mind of a child. These above mentioned activities all encourage the child to full-heartedly engage once again in the tiresome school work. More on, the child should not be burdened with studies. As, the main hard work is required once they will be in their high school. As, the high school hard work decide their career paths. So, a child should relax before that time comes.
please let me know how much i have improved by grading it
Re: please let me know how much i have improved by grading i
cmon guys i have been waiting long ago to hear from you
Re: please let me know how much i have improved by grading i
Dear neha
I would like to say you that I'm not an expert in reviews. However, i can help you with in the limitations of my abilities.
The first thing i can notice in your writing is that in certain places, your punctuation's are either incorrect or no punctuation at all.
Secondly your ideas are sound. In fact, you should provide some examples to prove that idea(use the linking words like "for example, for instance etc..).
Thirdly, your first body paragraph could be divided in to two, as it consists of two ideas. Final step to improve is that to introduce a proper conclusion paragraph. The last paragraph in this essay could not be regarded as a conclusion. Therefore, you should write a better summary by summarizing the data you proved in your essay. Of course, there are grammatical errors, unfortunately I'm helpless to prove that as my knowledge in grammar is limited.
However, you are doing a good job. Always remember that practice make things better. So, practice more, try to elaborate your ideas with examples.
All the best.
robin
I would like to say you that I'm not an expert in reviews. However, i can help you with in the limitations of my abilities.
The first thing i can notice in your writing is that in certain places, your punctuation's are either incorrect or no punctuation at all.
Secondly your ideas are sound. In fact, you should provide some examples to prove that idea(use the linking words like "for example, for instance etc..).
Thirdly, your first body paragraph could be divided in to two, as it consists of two ideas. Final step to improve is that to introduce a proper conclusion paragraph. The last paragraph in this essay could not be regarded as a conclusion. Therefore, you should write a better summary by summarizing the data you proved in your essay. Of course, there are grammatical errors, unfortunately I'm helpless to prove that as my knowledge in grammar is limited.
However, you are doing a good job. Always remember that practice make things better. So, practice more, try to elaborate your ideas with examples.
All the best.
robin
Re: please let me know how much i have improved by grading i
Hi neha,neha wrote:cmon guys i have been waiting long ago to hear from you
I hope you can extend your patience because I think most of the users here are students or studying ielts, so they are not too confident to post any remarks.
mhingz
04/10/2010 - Listening 7.0, Reading 5.5, Writing 6.5, Speaking 7.0
10/26/2013 - Listening 6.0, Reading 5.0, Writing 6.5, Speaking 7.5
10/05/2014 - Listening 7.5, Reading 7.0, Writing 7.0, Speaking 7.5
10/26/2013 - Listening 6.0, Reading 5.0, Writing 6.5, Speaking 7.5
10/05/2014 - Listening 7.5, Reading 7.0, Writing 7.0, Speaking 7.5
Re: please let me know how much i have improved by grading i
thanks for helping me out
Re: please let me know how much i have improved by grading i
neha wrote:thanks for helping me out
04/10/2010 - Listening 7.0, Reading 5.5, Writing 6.5, Speaking 7.0
10/26/2013 - Listening 6.0, Reading 5.0, Writing 6.5, Speaking 7.5
10/05/2014 - Listening 7.5, Reading 7.0, Writing 7.0, Speaking 7.5
10/26/2013 - Listening 6.0, Reading 5.0, Writing 6.5, Speaking 7.5
10/05/2014 - Listening 7.5, Reading 7.0, Writing 7.0, Speaking 7.5