Please benchmark my Letter with Band 9

[saqibali]

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

*explain why you want to take time off work
*give details of the amount of time you need
*suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

Dear Manager,
I am writing you to request for vocations and to propose appropriate replacement for my absence.

I along with my wife, am preparing for my International Academic Test.This test, if passed with flying colors with help both of us secure merit scholarship in prestigious educational institutions, an important milestone for advancement of our skills. Since this preparation needs a fresh mind so I need to take off from pressurized and stressful office work.
As you know, I never missed office work for any small reason but this time if I will not take this tests seriously, I would ruin my career.This test contains three parts and each part requires at least 25 hours of work. You see, I need nine working days off from office.
My colleague, Asif is an excellent replacement for my absence. Since you have appreciated his work many times and his skills match with the task requirements, so I am proposing his name after his kind consent.I believe, Asif will exceed the task requirements, an expectation that he always met previously.Thus, my absence will have no impact on office work.
Waiting a hopeful reply,
Sincerely Yours,
Saqib.

[saqibali]

Please provide feedback

[saqibali]

Anyone who can
Spot the grammer mistakes?
Challenge my task achievement?
Challenge my Understanding?
Suggest better variety of words and phrases?
Suggest better cohesion?
Suggest better sentences and words?