My GT Writing Task 1

[Black Eagle]

Your local newspaper published an advertisement asking people to help with environment projects in your area.

Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help.

• describe a local environmental problem that affects you
  explain what you will like to do to help
  and suggest how problem could be avoided in future.

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing with regard to your advertisement asking people to contribute in solving local environment issues.
Although there are many environmental crises affecting our city at large and our area specifically, I would like to focus in helping to solve the most severe problem of water drainage. After recent rainfalls, there is a bulk of water stranded on the streets that makes it very difficult for the people and the automobiles to commute.

In order to play my part, I propose to volunteer for the clean-up of the gutters and assist the municipal employees in cleaning the jammed sinkholes and drainage pipes.

For the problem to not re-occur, it is highly recommended that regular checks be carried out to avoid any choking of the drainage pipes. Also, wider pipes can be installed that will ease the flow of gushing water during cases of heavy rain, floods and the likes.
I am looking forward to receive your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,
Jason Smith

[Black Eagle]

Write a letter to your pen-friend and give him advice on how to improve his speaking, listening and vocabulary.

Dear Jason,
I hope this letter finds you well. In your last letter, you asked me to advice you on some simple practices that can improve your English vocabulary, speaking and listening skills. So I am writing to advice you the same.
In order for you to speak better English, you should hold conversations with your English-speaking colleagues at work on a daily basis. This will give you an idea how native speakers formulate words and how they incorporate them in their conversations.
Secondly, to enhance your listening skills, you should make every effort to watch English movies in your spare time, without the subtitles, for this will give you a sense of how the natives sound when they speak at their normal pace.
Finally, to have a stronger vocabulary, it's preferable to keep a dictionary with you at all times which you can refer to and find more suitable words at any given situation.
I hope by following my suggestions, you will be able to better your language skills. I'm looking forward for your feedback on this and if there is anything else I can help you with.

Yours truly,
James

[Black Eagle]

You are going to spend your vacation in the city in a foreign country. You have never been there before. Your cousin has a friend who lives there. Write a letter to the friend.

In your letter:
- introduce yourself
-say why you are making this trip
-ask some questions about the city (e.g. places to see, things to do)

Dear John,
I hope this letter finds you well. My cousin, David Smith, must have already informed you about my intention of visiting London. I am waiting in order to introduce myself and pose certain questions to you which hopefully, you can answer.
I am Jason, a 25-year old postgraduate student of anthropology. I am studying at John Meyer University, Cape Town, South Africa, and currently writing my thesis on historical buildings associated with royalty like castles and palaces.
The intention behind my trip to London, one of the oldest and most historical capitals in the world, is to explore this beautiful meeting point of the past and the future; where tradition and history stands next to technology and innovation in the most seamless manner.
It would be great if you can shed some light on the things I can do there, for example, travelling around in Underground, or the places that might interest me, for instance, Buckingham Palace or the British parliament. Also, advice me on what clothes or accessories I shall bring along as to go with the weather.
I am looking forward to meeting you in person once I am there.

Yours truly,
Jason Smith

[Ryan]

Hi Black Eagle,

The manner in which you divide your letters into organized sections works well. However, I see lots of awkwardness in the way you choose to phrase your ideas. Here are a few examples of the areas that struck me as particularly awkward:

"a bulk of water stranded"
"in order to play my part"
"I propose to volunteer"
"and the likes"
"I am looking forward to receive"
"to advice you"
"how the natives sound"
"what clothes or accessories I shall bring along as to go with the weather"

The awkwardness in these phrases is present for different reasons (grammar, vocabulary choices, etc). My advice to you is to simplify. Don't fool yourself into thinking that writing long, poetic sentences will instantly garner you a band 8. Following this strategy will only make your writing incoherent. The most important thing you can demonstrate to your examiner is the ability to communicate with clarity in written English. The manner in which you are writing now does not do this.

I hope the above helps.