HI need feedback and rating. Please comment.

[saravanan ps]

:cCUE CARD :

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in
easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

Answer:
Sports are not only meant for physical activity and refereshment, if the Sports events were organised between countries, it will have positive impact on their relations also. Events like football worldcup is the best way for the players to show their love for their nation and sports .

Sports like football, which is having huge fan following is been treated like a religion in most of the countries. In case this event is been orgnasied between enemy nations , this will become one of the opportunity to resolve thier issues . First of all this is the chance for the people of these countries to know each other well. Because this will open the doors for their fans to travel to enemy nations in order to support their team. This in turn will become the chance for knowing each other. Besides their politicians also have the chance to meet each other during the event. Which may become the chance for initiating talks between the nations.

Players who are particpating in football worldcup will be proud of representing their nations. By winning the matches , they can show thier love for their nations. Besides this moral victories comes without any bloodshedding.

However this is also having some demerits,In case of any clash triggered between the followers. It may result in turmoil. It may lead to worsen the nation relation also. So, serious measures to be taken to avoid such kind of clashes between fans.

Eventhough there are some negatives can happen during the event. I feel, if sports events like football was organised frequently between enemy countries, their enmity will come down and they may become good neighbours. And peace and happiness will be the result of this events.

[saravanan ps]

please grade my writing. Will i get 7 points for this essay .pls help .

[Johnson zhang]

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in
easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

agree or disagree?

Answer:
Sports are not only meant for physical activity and refreshment,??? if the Sports events were organised between countries, it will have positive impact on their relations also. Events like football worldcup is the best way for the players to show their love for their nation and sports .

sports are refreshment?
,???
if???? no capital
Sport? capital?
does show their love to their nation means it could cause more tensions?

Sports like football, which is having huge fan following is been treated like a religion in most of the countries. In case this event is been orgnasied between enemy nations , this will become one of the opportunity to resolve thier issues . First of all this is the chance for the people of these countries to know each other well. Because this will open the doors for their fans to travel to enemy nations in order to support their team. This in turn will become the chance for knowing each other. Besides their politicians also have the chance to meet each other during the event. Which may become the chance for initiating talks between the nations.


Firstly, an influential event like the Football Cup unites all nations of people to one place for a common interest.

Players who are particpating in football worldcup will be proud of representing their nations. By winning the matches , they can show thier love for their nations. Besides this moral victories comes without any bloodshedding.

However this is also having some demerits,In case of any clash triggered between the followers. It may result in turmoil. It may lead to worsen the nation relation also. So, serious measures to be taken to avoid such kind of clashes between fans.

However, due to each nation's strong support, a disappointed match could back fire existing disputes between counties or races.

Eventhough there are some negatives can happen during the event. I feel, if sports events like football was organised frequently between enemy countries, their enmity will come down and they may become good neighbours. And peace and happiness will be the result of this events.


you should buy ryan's book, I did, 25 dollars is like nothing. it seems you have enough words to score swell but the structure of your essay is so poor....

[saravanan ps]

Dear Johnson zhang,

Thanks for your time and comments. I will work on structuring the essay.

regards
saravanan

[Johnson zhang]

You need to improve a lot on like everything mate.....

If i were you, i would exercise using simple sentence to express my ideas first.

[saravanan ps]

Thanks for the suggestion mate. Yes i understand that i have to go very long to achieve 7.5 score.
I will do lot of exercise to improve . Kindly keep giving suggestions like this mate. Its make me understand the areas i have to focus.