Hi Ryan, Can you please mark my writing

[sumluck]

Writing Task 1
You should spend 20 minutes on this task.
The table below gives information on consumer spending on different itemsin five different countries in 2002.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

Percentage on national consumer expenditure by category-2002

Country , Food/Drinks/Tobacco , Clothing/Footwear , Leisure/Education
Ireland , 28.91% , 6.43% , 2.21%
Italy , 16.36% , 9.00% , 3.20%
Spain , 18.80% , 6.51% , 1.98%
Sweden , 15.77% , 5.40% , 3.22%
Turkey , 32.14% , 6.63% , 4.35%


Answer:
The table illustrates the proportion of the money spent on various substances by Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002. The table consists of six rows and four columns. The title of the row includes the five countries and the tile of the column show the various items: Food/Drinks/Tobacco, Clothing/Footwear and Leisure/Education.
Interestingly, the highest ratio of money was spent by Turkey on Food/Drinks/Tobacco approximately 32.14%. On the other hand, the lowest percentage of expenditure was made by Spain on leisure/Education about 1.98% -less than 30 times of Ireland expenditure on Food/Drinks/Tobacco. By analyzing the data, it can be clearly identify that all five nations consume food/Drinks/Tobacco in high ratio of more than 15% to nearly 33%. However, minimum percentages of expenditure were made in Leisure/Education, not exceeding 5% by five countries. Furthermore, Clothing/Education expenditure percentages were from just above 5 to 9 pre cent.
In conclusion, more percentage of money was taken by intake items rather than wearing items and leisure/education.

I could not copy the table as same as question paper, I hope you will understand, I have separate it with commas.
I am starting to practice IELTS from today and this is my first writing. Please Ryan mark it with the band score. I really appreciate your comments. I want to know my writing standard that will really guide me to practice and also encourage me to work hard. Many thanks.

[Flick]

Writing Task 1
You should spend 20 minutes on this task.
The table below gives information on consumer spending on different itemsin five different countries in 2002.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

Percentage on national consumer expenditure by category-2002

Country , Food/Drinks/Tobacco , Clothing/Footwear , Leisure/Education
Ireland , 28.91% , 6.43% , 2.21%
Italy , 16.36% , 9.00% , 3.20%
Spain , 18.80% , 6.51% , 1.98%
Sweden , 15.77% , 5.40% , 3.22%
Turkey , 32.14% , 6.63% , 4.35%


Answer:
The table illustrates the proportion of money spent on various products by Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002. (<-- Great summary.) The table consists of six rows and four columns. The title of the row includes the five countries and the tile of the column show the various items: Food/Drinks/Tobacco, Clothing/Footwear and Leisure/Education. (<-- This is too much information. We are interested in what the data is, not how the table looks.)
Interestingly, the highest ratio of money was spent on Food/Drinks/Tobacco by Turkey with approximately 32.14%. The lowest percentage of expenditure was made by Spain on Leisure/Education about 1.98% - less than 30 times (<-- This is incorrect. Less than 30 times Ireland's spending would be 0.997 (28.91/30). Also you are comparing separate catergories, Leisure and Food. A better comparison would be 'less than half what Turkey spent on Leisure and Education.') of Ireland expenditure on Food/Drinks/Tobacco. By analyzing the data, it is clear that all five nations spend more on Food/Drinks/Tobacco than both Clothing and Leisure together. However, the lowest percentages of expenditure were made in Leisure/Education, not exceeding 5% in any of the five countries. Furthermore, Clothing/Education expenditure percentages were from just above 5 to 9%.
In conclusion, the most money was spent on consumable goods rather than clothing and footwear or leisure/education.

Good job. Your first sentence was a great introduction to the table - it made it easy to understand what was being shown.
I like that you compared overall expenditure in each category. Do you have any theories as to why the most money was spent on food?

Thanks,
Flick

[sumluck]

Thank you so much Flick. I really appreciate your comment and also very happy you correct my writing.
I think the theories as to why the most money was spent on food is that the food is the basic needs of human. So every one consume it, as a result the expenditure percentage on food is very high.Is that correct? Many thanks.

[Flick]

Hi sumluck,

I fully agree with your theory on why food had the most money spent on it. Great explanation!

Flick