Can anyone provide feedback and possible mark to my essay

[Kitpanc]

Q:Watching television can help students to learn efficiently. Therefore, we should encourage them to spend time on watching television at school and at home. Do you agree or disagree?

Thanks to the development in technologies, television are not limited to its originally function of entertaining people, students can obtain knowledge from watching educational channels. Thus, this tendency has lead to a controversial question of whether we should encourage students to watch television at anywhere. Personally, I suggest that watching television is actually harmful for the kids. Therefore, this activity should be prohibited to them instead of promoting it to students.
First of all, watching television can create a barrier for students to get in touch with the real word. It is true that students can actually generate knowledge from watching educational program's. However, this knowledge is only theoretical for them. It is important for them to turn this knowledge in to real practice by sharing and discussing what the they have learnt with others. If they are additive with the TV program's and unwilling to engage with others then we have to consider is watching tv really good for them deeply.

Secondly, health hazardous is another concern for students who spend time on watching television. It is because this can lead to serious injure to them if they are unaware of the safety procedures that are carried out by the instructor. Take a good example of cooking program's, it is true that students can learn cooking skills from it. Yet, we have to keep in mind that there are high possibility for the kids to cut themselves when they are using cutting tools like knife.

In conclusion, it is undeniable fact that watching can establish some benefits to students. Meanwhile, it also create massive amount of negative impacts to them , not only is watching television harmful for students social network, but also threaten their safety. Thus. Watching television should not be promoted to kids at anytime.

[Johnson zhang]

Q:Watching television can help students to learn efficiently. Therefore, we should encourage them to spend time on watching television at school and at home. Do you agree or disagree?

Thanks to the development in technologies, television are not limited to its originally function of entertaining people, students can obtain knowledge from watching educational channelstele is no longer merely serving its original purpose and entertainment. . Thus, this tendency has lead to a controversial question of whether we should encourage students to watch television at anywhere. why do you think the fact TVs are getting better leads the "question" Personally, I suggest that watching television is actually harmful for the kids. Therefore, this activity should be prohibited to them instead of promoting it to students. no conclusion here


First of all, watching television can create a barrier for students to get in touch with the real word. It is true that students can actually generate knowledge from watching educational program's. However, this knowledge is only theoretical for them. It is important for them to turn this knowledge in to real practice by sharing and discussing what the they have learnt with others. If they are additive with the TV program's and unwilling to engage with others then we have to consider is watching tv really good for them deeply.

watching tv is consuming information passively with little skill would be actually absorbed

Secondly, health hazardous is another concern for students who spend time on watching television. It is because this can lead to serious injure to them if they are unaware of the safety procedures that are carried out by the instructor. Take a good example of cooking program's, it is true that students can learn cooking skills from it. Yet, we have to keep in mind that there are high possibility for the kids to cut themselves when they are using cutting tools like knife.

an excessive amount of time in front of a tv inevitably leads to health concerns.

In conclusion, it is undeniable fact that watching can establish some benefits to students. Meanwhile, it also create massive amount of negative impacts to them , not only is watching television harmful for students social network, but also threaten their safety. Thus. Watching television should not be promoted to kids at anytime.

while undeniably there are benefits from educational TV programs, TV time with no restriction will not help students to tackle real world problems and pose threats to their health.

[Kitpanc]

Thanks Johnson