GT Writing Task 2

[Somnil]

Hello there:
Posting 2 essay on GT writing task 2. Would appreciate if you could review and give your comments.
Thanks for your time!

Essay 1

Some people say that parents should decide on what kind of medical care their children should receive, while others believe that this is the state’s responsibility
Discuss both views and give your opinion

Although, it is the duty of parents to decide on the kind of medical care their children should get, in my opinion, the state also has an important role to play. As medical and health care becomes dearer every day, the role of the state government becomes pivotal in ensuring good medical facilities to the children of the nation.

Good medical care starts with a good healthcare policy, which is promulgated by the government of a country. The state’s responsibility lies in ensuring good hospitals with modern health care facilities, trained doctors and nurses, who can attain to the needs of ailing children. For example, in poor countries of Africa, where child mortality rates are one of the highest in the world, many children die every year because of lack of proper medical facilities and trained staff. In such a scenario, only rich parents will have the ease of providing good healthcare to their children, through expensive private hospitals.

However, ensuring right kind of medical treatment for children finally lies with the concerned parents. The economic condition of parents determines which type of medical care they should choose, whether a state run hospital or an expensive private care unit. Many parents opt for medical insurance for their children or preserve their stem cells at the time of birth, so that they can be safeguarded against deadly diseases.

Most importantly children are the future citizens of the country. Even though parents do their best to ensure good heath care for their wards, however, it is the state’s responsibility to ensure children of the country receives the best possible health care.
(269 words)

Essay 2
 
In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms.
Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

Opinions regarding wearing of school uniforms by children vary from one country to another. While many feel that children should be allowed to dress as per their choice, however, I feel it is important for children to dress up formally when attending school. The following paragraphs will illustrate the merits of this opinion.

Independent dressing at school may result in display of fashion and status. While children in school are expected to focus on learning, they may get distracted by the new dress flaunted by their class mates. Such distractions may lead children into forcing their parents to buy trendy, expensive and fashionable dresses. Eventually these competitions may create socio-economic barriers at schools where students would be identified through the brand of their attire rather than their learning ability. Such behaviour may be more common amongst students of higher classes who would prefer fashionable friends over meritorious ones.

School uniforms, on the other hand, would set uniformity amongst students irrespective of their social and economic back ground. It would inculcate a sense of discipline in school where children would be expected to wear clean and tidy uniform at all times. Uniforms would also help in developing team spirit amongst schoolchildren, especially when they represent their school during inter-school competitions wearing uniforms. For example, events such as sports day or inter school quiz competitions would require children to represent in their school uniforms, as that would help students in identifying their team.

As in case of police or military, where uniform is required to instil discipline, schoolchildren too should be required to wear uniform. Though some would argue over the demerits of enforcing school uniform, however, a smartly turned out student in a uniform would carry a lasting impression over the one trying to look cool and funky.
(297 words)

[Somnil]

Hello:
Can someone review and comment on my essays?