May I get a band for my writting

[sundus saleh]

hello everyone I have my ielts exam by the next week
May I get your advice and comment for this pice of writting
I'm trying to reach band 6
And I'll be so greatful



The map below is of the town of Canterbury. A new school (S) is planned for the area. The map shows two possible sites for the school.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

here is the map

IELTS_Writing_Map_148.png (13.28 KiB) Viewed 1669 times

The map show two possible sits for the school in the town of Cantebury , which are planned to build in the area.
The first site ,it’s on the north-east of the country side just near the housing area ,so some student can walk to it , and few KM’s away from the main rood ,which is 5KM from the town center to Sturry town with population of 7.000 ,beside it a bit near the University that’s mean the public transport are available most of the time for the student.
The second site located some were in the south of the of town center ( no traffic zone),by the main rood to Chartham , which has population about 4.500,it a bit more far from the housing, but in order it’s on the town center that will offer all the needed serves for the student such as shops and public transports .

[youngsherlock]

Hi, Sundus Saleh

I'm not an Eng Instructor or anything.
I'll try my best.
Hey! I might be wrong!

The map show two possible sits for the school in the town of Cantebury, which are planned to build in the area.

The map = subject
shows = verb
two possible sites = object
for the school = adjective phrase modifying sites
in the town of Cantebury = adj phrase modifying school
which is planed for the new area = adj. phrase and should be placed after "school" instead.

The new sentence may look like this:

The map shows two possible sites for the school, which is planned for the new area,
in the town of Cantebury.

The first site ,it’s on the north-east of the country side just near the housing area ,so some student can walk to it , and few KM’s away from the main rood ,which is 5KM from the town center to Sturry town with population of 7.000 ,beside it a bit near the University that’s mean the public transport are available most of the time for the student.


This is what my writting 101's teacher at U of Kansas called a run-on sentence.

A period and transition words can be helping tools in this case.


The first site , marked S1, is on the north-east of the town close to housing units area. Therefore, students can take a walk back and forth without difficulties. Moreover, the S1 loaction is just a few kilometers away from the main road heading toward Sturry, an adjacent town with a population of 7.000. Another advantage of its being a bit near the University is public transportation which should be made frequently available for S1's students, too.

On the 2nd paragraph, let me see. Aha! The context would contain same errors as I presumed.

The second site located some were in the south of the of town center ( no traffic zone),by the main rood to Chartham , which has population about 4.500,it a bit more far from the housing, but in order it’s on the town center that will offer all the needed serves for the student such as shops and public transports .[/quote]

Unlike S1, S2 is located in the southern part of the of town center ( no traffic zone), just on the way before reaching the main road toward a 4500-populted-town called Chartham. However, it's a bit farther from dwellings, but in proximity to the downtown with reachable facilities such as shops, bars, and hospital.

IELTS is negotiated equally on four intelligences.

Task Achievement : 1/4
Cohesion: 1/4
Lexical: 1/4
Grammar: 1/4

Here is a possible overview score. I might be wrong!

Task: 6
Cohesion: 6
Lexical : 5
Grammar: 5

Average : 5.5

Best regards,

Mike Ken

[sundus saleh]

Thanks a lot Mike Ken that was really usefull