CHECK task 2!

[aprodigy]

Topic:Some students cant attend to higher education only because the tuition problems, so the local gov should support all students financially in order to maintain the equality of education. Do the adv outweigh the disadv?
It is true that in today’s world tuition fee plays a crucial role for some students. Therefore, with a view to finance, the support of local government should be given for all students in order to maintain the equality of education. This situation has both merits as well as demerits but definitely the merits outweigh the demerits
On the one hand, there are many obvious benefits of providing tuition fee for students. To begin with, it is no doubt that receiving the support from the local authority, students seem to be reduced financial burden in terms of living costs and studying equipment. In a little more detail, to study in higher education such as universities or colleges, learners have to pay a large number of fees each term without rejecting from the classes at that time. Secondly, this support might diminish the gap between the poor students and the rich ones. It is because nowadays thanks to the grants of government, some students who can not afford studying further education receive an appropriate study environment. For example, a Vietnamese student living in a remote area-Highland-has studied a Master dgree in Australia because she has had the large proportion of investment from the local government
On the other hand, there are some problems of supporting financially from the government. It is reasonable to say that investing for tuition fee is likely to give a drop for government’s budget. In fact, it seems that there are a quite large number of students requiring this support. As a result, the amount of money paying for these students accounts for a huge proportion in the budget and limits the usage of other fields such as economics and politics. It is thus argued that students nowdays just pay tuition fee for salaries, for teaching staff and for improving of learning facilities.
On balance, the advantages to students’ lives created by the support of government definitely outweigh the advantages. However, the government must know when and how much to use the budget so that we can take an advantage from education
Which band I can get?

[durai]

Hi,
This could be around band 6 to 6.5 ( in my view only )

but, did you see...in conclusion you made a blunder mistake, go through first sentence again..it affects your mark to a very extent...

Durai

[candy07]

Topic:Some students cant attend to higher education only because the tuition problems, so the local gov should support all students financially in order to maintain the equality of education. Do the adv outweigh the disadv?

It is true that in today’s world tuition fee plays a crucial role for some students. Therefore, with a view to finance, the support of local government should be given for all students in order to maintain the equality of education. This situation has both merits as well as demerits but definitely the merits outweigh the demerits
On the one hand, there are many obvious benefits of providing tuition fee to students. To begin with, it is no doubt that if students receive the support from the local authority, there will be reduced financial burden on them. To explain in a little more detail, to go for higher education in universities or colleges, learners have to pay a large number of fees each term .Secondly, this support might diminish the gap between the poor students and the rich ones. It is because nowadays thanks to the grants of government, some students who can not afford studying further education receive an appropriate study environment- This sentence does not make any sense and is not coherent with previous sentence. For example, a Vietnamese student living in a remote area-Highland was able to pursue Master dgree in Australia because she had financial assistance from the local government.
On the other hand, there are some problems in getting financial support from the government. It is reasonable to say that investing for tuition fee is likely to give a drop in government’s budget. In fact, in many countries there are quite a large number of students requiring this kind of support. As a result, the amount of money required to pay for the fees of these students will account for a financial burden for the Government and thus investments in other equally important fields may suffer. It is thus argued that students nowdays just pay tuition fee for salaries, for teaching staff and for improving of learning facilities. - This is not the summary of this paragraph.. please rephrase
To conclude, it is believed that the advantages students will have by the support of government definitely outweigh the advantages- Major blunder However, the government must know when and how much budget should be used to finance the fee of students so that both students and governments are in a beneficial situation
Which band I can get?

I suggest you to please work on your grammar. Here is a useful link ...
http://www.scribd.com/doc/244244/Check-your-Vocabulary-
http://www.scribd.com/doc/27887171/Grammar-IELTS